Neighbours can be so helpful, if not for them I'd never know how much I hate Ja Rule.

Exercise is fun

Exercise is fun when you get all sweaty and stinky and everything aches.

Fall is a time for picnics

Fall is a time for picnics....wind, rain, and plunging temperatures make the food taste so much better!


Please hold, all our customer service representatives are busy right now.

Please hold, all our customer service representatives are busy right now...or call someone else who gives a shit.

Welcome to our neighborhood ...

Welcome to our neighborhood ... but don't get feeling to comfortable because it's about time for you to leave.



This beautiful figurine is ONLY $79.99.

This beautiful figurine is ONLY $79.99 ... which is only $78.99 over cost.

I long for peace.

I long for peace.....or at least a new President.


I enjoy going to the dentist...

I enjoy going to the dentist...since it saves on having to buy new tooth brushes or dental floss.

I like washing the car ...

I like washing the car ... especially when it rains right after I do it.


I love going to the gym...

I love going to the gym...with the glory holes between the dressing rooms and all.

I love meetings ...

^^^LOL Ewwwww!^^^

I love meetings...where the boss goes on and on about stuff I already know.


Thunderstorms are such a....

Thunderstorms are such a....nice way to fill in for a sick drummer.

Peter Piper picked a peck ...

Peter Piper picked a peck ... but he really preferred his wife would peck his peter.


Since I know how to get there I don't need a map.

Since I know how to get there I don't need a map. I only took this dirt road with all the potholes because I thought it might be more scenic ... besides ... we should be able to 'rock the car' out of this mud in a little bit.

Tomorrow's another day ...

Tomorrow's another day ... Oh, man, did you have to remind me!!!



Campaign donations do a lot of good.

Campaign donations do a lot of good ... they help support 'Promises Made to be Broken' ... a no-results organization designed to support the life style of the rich and otherwise unemployable.

Sometimes people get touchy ...

Sometimes people get touchy. So why isn't that woman over at the bar getting touchy with me?


I'll just make this brief.

I'll just make this brief... about as brief as J Lo's marriages.

I love women who play hard to get...

I love women who play hard to get, I love seeing time, money and effort getting pissed away - and then getting rejected.

I love Pixies.


;)

ttt

I love Pixies....especially when they get all fired up about politics. It's a wonderful warm up to flirting and sex.


I've had a hard day today...

I've had a hard day today...hard getting up, hard to get moving, hard to get enthused ...

Erections in public ...

Erections in public...oh, thanks...can't it be hard nipples poking through sheer blouses?


Slow people driving in the left lane on a freeway ...

Slow people driving in the left lane on a freeway ... let the fast drivers stay in the lane where the signs are still visible.

Halloween is fun because ...

Halloween is fun because ...we now get to check candy for razorblades!


I'm sure glad we came to this party.

I'm sure glad we came to this party. It's so much better than having all those creeps come to our place. :)

I'll sure hate to see the elections get over with ...

because they are the most refreshingly honest group of people who clearly care for their constituants and are not the least bit concerned with all that hollywood and media hype like those damn nuns.

i *love* changing diapers because...

The smell is just wonderful!!!!

I love seeing people in love because......

... being a voyeur has been a career goal of mine. :)

Flat tires are wonderful because ...

....its so much fun freezing my ass changing one by hand


Cold weather is great...

Cold weather is great...because it helps give you such interesting body colors when you sunbathe.

Most guys hate it when their ladies go down on them ...

Just about as much as they hate winning a million dollars!

Most men think I'm very unattractive....

Most men think I'm very unattractive....except for days and nights and what's in between.

Pizza sounds good...

Pizza sounds good when it hits the guy that just spilt his beer all over my favorite outfit.


Public diisplays of affection are great.

For sure....lol.....that is like pissing in the wind!


You loved to be held and hugged firmly

You loved to be held and hugged firmly ... especially when it's by a 800 pound gorilla. :rolleyes2

I love watching the news ...

I love watching the news......sure just as much as i like sticking my thumbs in my eyes and drinking vodka thru my nose


I love to masturbate

I love to masturbate.......yes its just as enjoyable as washing my entire body in hydrochloric acid!


I love to Jog

I love to jog....Ya about as much as i like to feel the lactic acid in my muscles build up and i throw up from it


i like to watch others have hot steamy.................coffee

i like to watch others have hot steamy ... coffee ... almost as much as I love watching grass grow or snow melt.

I think raunchy movies are great entertainment ...