Famous people live such wonderful lives... that's why Bill Cosby has been talking so sweetly to the Black community in America.

Children are such grateful creatures.

childeren are such grateful creatures..As long as they get everything their little hearts desire.



Is so much fun giving the dog a bath.

It is so much giving the dog a bath, I wish I could do it daily. <eyeroll>

I love having cramps.

I love having cramps. Almost as much as I love stubbing my toe.


Some people think they know it all.

Some people think they know it all - they just don't know how irritating they are.

Is fuel cheap in you town?

Is fuel cheap in you town? Yeah about as cheap as milk.



Going to the grocery store is the highlight of my week.

Oh God yes! I especially love going to Walmart. I get to ponder my life while I wait in the long lines.

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down... but getting to go back to work after the weekend cheers me up so!

Weeding the flowerbeds is my favorite chore

Weeding the flowerbeds is my favorite chore, along with sticking pins in my eyes.

The weather here in the UK is great at the moment, you should all come over and visit.

The weather here in the UK is great at the moment, you should all come over and visit, you won't get a suntan though - you'll just get rusty!

Did it rain earlier?

Did you melt?

Do you miss skip?

Do I miss skip - I can't be sarcastic on that one.

Wasn't the sunrise beautiful today?

Wasn't the sunrise beautiful today... perfectly framed by those thunderheads.

Family members say the sweetest things to each other

Family members say the sweetest things to each other when they aren't talking behind your back.


Flowers are a nice way to say I love you.

OH how lovely flowers! Just what my running eyes need, more pollen.

Will you respect me in the morning?

Will you respect me in the morning?
Yeah...I'll respect you just as much as I did *before* we went to bed.

Do you like a gentle touch?

Do you squeezing it FLAT gentle?


Ahhh, living in a hotel, what a life!

Ahhh, living in a hotel, what a life! And sharing it all with such colorful people is a big bonus.


There is nothing more fun then playing smut games.

There is nothing more fun then playing smut games.
And it's so nice to get 6 hours less sleep a night because of it.


Gee, this SUV get such great gas mileage.

Gee, this SUV gets such great gas mileage ... so great, I'm thinking of selling oil investments since they won't be worth much. :rolleyes:

There's nothing like celibacy ...

There's nothing like celibacy ...thousands of years of Catholicism have shown it to be fool proof.


I'm going to start balancing my checkbook like the government does.

I'm going to start balancing my checkbook like the government does ... which is, well, it's, OMG ... how do they do that? :D

Supreme pizzas ...

Supreme pizzas ... are my local pizza parlor's way of making sure they get premium prices!


That blonde sure likes to toss her hair.

That blonde sure likes to toss her hair ... which is why a better glue was suggested.

Hardons are wonderful ...

Hardons are wonderful...for diverting other kids attention away from the math problem you're fucking up on the chalkboard!

A fresh cup of coffee...

A fresh cup of coffee... yeah more like the broth of Satan! hee hee

Chinese takeout

Chinese takeout is good as long as you don't stare at the ingredients for long.


Reality T.V. is just the best thing for.....

Reality T.V. is just the best thing for ..... entertaining commercial sponsors.

News shows are wonderful ...

News shows are wonderful ... if you have an affinity for murder, rape, and thievery


Reality TV is pithy and accurate....

only if you life revolves around watching reality TV.

do politicians really believe ......

Do politicians really believe the drivel the try to sell to the public.


Being married is a great way to....

Being married is a great way to.... avoid dating

Sexual frusteration never happens to me....

Sexual frustration never happens to me....just like cars never fail to start.

I can hardly wait for the next chance to go to work ...

I can hardly wait for the next chance to go to work... my boss was so calm when that 500-job order came in this afternoon.

Cleaning the aquarium is such a pleasant task...

Cleaning the aquarium is such a pleasant task...now that the fish have been toilet trained.

To be or not to be ...

To be or not to be ... horny is the question.

Guido is a great name...

Guido is a great name for someone that plays on the Sopranos.


A day at the amusement park is....

A day at the amusement park is....is especially amusing for the park owners on their way to the bank.

A walk in the rain can be fun ...

A walk in the rain can be fun if you learn to dodge the lightening.


It's so great leaving in Florida if you....

Its so great living in Florida if. if you learn to dodge the golf carts.


Neighbors can bee so helplful