Sure, central Illinois residents are always walking along the beach. Dang mud puddles.

Oh boy, payday is tomorrow!

Not me - no way! I would rather be tied up from a tree by my toenails!

OUCH!

Is anyone up for some oral sex?

Ohhhhhh! I'd rather have you rub my tongue with sandpaper!


Wow, this is sure a beautiful day!

Oh yeah, four in the morning and temperatures in the forties ... just doesn't get any better than that. :rolleyes:

It's sure be nice to win the lottery.

Yeah, and the government takes 60% and you get sued for the remaining 40.


I think I'll give up smoking today.

Yeah, right after I save the world from certain destruction.


Going back to school is easy

Just like getting un-pregnant.

Marriage is a breeze.

It sure is... the same kind of breeze as a hurricane... shall we get our kites?


The check is in the mail, honest.

..and I won't ____ in your mouth! Trick!

Relationships take no work at all.

Right, and newborn babies always sleep 4 hours at a time


You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex

...and the Pope is not catholic!


I love verbal abuse...

So do I, my self esteem is unshakable


I love to cook and clean after working all day

...as much as I enjoy washing laundry and folding on a beautiful weekend.


I really enjoy acrimony and constant personal criticism...

me too.. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over (makes my nipples hard too *weg*)


I love the smell when I take of my shoes after a long day

Yeah, that's ok, I guess. Personally, I prefer the aroma of dirty laundry that was crammed in the hamper a week ago while it was damp....

I really enjoy showering as the washing machine is turned on and the toilet is flushed simultaneously.