There's nothing like a paycheck...It reminds you of how worth it it is to wake up each morning.


Voicemail is great...

Voicemail is great ... unless you've lost your voice. :yikes:

I love heavy snowfalls ...

I love heavy snowfalls ... As long as they are in Illinois!

Christmas parties with the boss are a delight ...

Christmas parties with the boss are a delight ... since she'll likey have a new honey-do list ready for me. :)

Visiting friends at Christmas ...

Visiting friends at Christmas...reminds me why I'm a loner.


I love thong underwear...

I love thong underwear...when it starts irritating the anus.

I love to meet new people ...

I love to meet new people...as long as it's only pictures of them!


She has a beautiful body...

She has a beautiful body ... and she'll be the first to tell you that.



I am looking forward to work tomorrow ....

I am looking forward to work tomorrow ... which, thank heavens, never comes.

I love hot temperatures ...

I love hot temperatures ...it prepares me for what's to come if I don't behave myself!

I always do the right thing...

I always do the right thing... at the wrong time!

Well don't you just smell.........

Well don't you just smell.........like a bouquet of roses-four days AFTER the funeral!

If you don't learn about life now...

If you don't learn about life now... try, try AGAIN!

If she likes it.............

If she likes it.............she MUST be doing it with someone besides me!

I enjoy all types of sex...

I enjoy all types of sex... even sex with you!

OK, open wide and say............