hoky is right
 

Hoky hit the nail on the head.

Plan a quiet night just for the two of you. Hey, a weekend would be even better, if you can swing the sitter.

Be attentive to her needs. One of the 7 habits of highly effective people is to understand before you can be understood.

When you do finally get your wife alone, DO NOT MAKE SEX THE OBJECTIVE. Of course it is the desired outcome, but it's the intimacy that you really need. It may figuratively kill you, but keep up the foreplay with no end in sight. It's all about the foreplay. In fact, it shouldn't be <b>fore</b>play, it is really just <b>play</b>. She'll get to a point where she won't be able to stand it and she'll have to have it. When the act is finally and ultimately consumated, return to play. Caress her and let her feel the afterglow with you.

Hopefully that will swing the pendulum back in the direction you need it. You simply need a big course correction right now.

I hope this helps my friend. Good luck.

here's an idea
 

i didn't read all the posts -- so hopefully i'm not repeating. but couldn't pass the chance to offer some serious advice. (as someone who recently divorced after 17 years of marriage) i don't presume to speak for all women, but i'll tell you what friends of mine have told me...

women love sex. every bit as much as men do. we would love to feel desired, and sexy. but helping us feel that way has less to do with what you do IN the bedroom, and more to do with what you do OUTSIDE the bedroom. do you leave your socks laying on the floor? never pick up after yourself? never help her with the kids? all of that turns into additional work for her. Easing her workload ... trust me, i know it doesn't sound like the right answer but it is.. will help. it's hard to feel sexy when you're exhausted and resentful.

i'm talking about a change in attitude, not an instant fix. hell, might start this way: hire a maid for a day, take her out somewhere nice for dinner, have an adult (interesting, not sexual) conversation....trust me, it will lead to something further.

if that doesn't help, might also consider a trip to the doctor...hormones have a way of messing with your head.

good luck hun.

and....to hoky
 

hun - you're a smart one. you've figured out the secret.

your wife is lucky to have you. :)

I too have been married about 5 years, seems that i am not alone in my sexual deprevation, its nice to know some other guys can feel my pain, seriously the comments and suggestions may come in useful

Ditchpig, sounds exactly like my problem

Just some thoughts
 

Does your wife know and approve of you being on sites like this one? Alot of people can become ( I'm not sure of the right word) unhappy, defensive, feeling like you are cheating on them when they find out about viewing material like this.

If that isn't an issue try reading romance novels to her. Mrs Diver likes hard core stories sometimes but she is always in the mood for a romance novel. Give J.D. Robb or Nora Roberts a try. To make it even more effective get rid of the kids, draw a nice bubble bath and read to her while she is soaking.

:confused: i have every one of you beat. My wife and I have sex every 2 years or so!!!!!!!!!!! that's right. you heard me. she is a total freak. She will not get help with this problem. You see, she was raped 20 years ago and never dealt with it. She blames me for every thing and is a total controle freak. I'm pissed and I'm confused. I'm taking care of my needs (when i am alone) but I think I'm getting too much proctice. If only she knew how often I desire her (every minute) maybe she would get the help she deserves.
I am rockslab and I have no sex.

Try A Nice Romantic Evening
 

nothing expensive. Just suprise her one night, she comes home to a dimly lit house a home cooked candle light dinner and u in a tux or suit. Flowers are always a plus if u can afford em. And always remember to keep things new in the sack. Variety is the spice of life.

ClassyDJ:cool: