How do I my garentee my g/f to climax?

[aquachicken]

We have going out for about 3 months...we each were virgins until we meet each other...

I personally don't have a problem reaching climax, or passing myself, but the g/f has never reached orgasm though sex touch or oral.

We have tired for hours at times.

I have tried everything from extra-plessure condoms to rubbiung G-spot.

I need some help now!

[Oldfart]

You don't need help.

You need patience and relaxation (both of you).

Relaxation to be able to go places without fear.

Patience to take the time to find out what you

both like and what gets you both off.

Enjoy!

[Nubian]

What he said...but I'd also add that being too preoccupied with a goal (in this case her achieving an orgasm) just defeats the purpose. Relax and just do what feels good to you both.

[luv2please]

Nubian and Oldfart are right on with regard to the relaxation part. But I do have a question. Does she have orgasisms when she masturbates? If so, ask her to show you what, where and how she does this so you can duplicate her motions. Good luck and let us know how you make out.

[aquachicken]

Well thats the thing....she thinks masterbation is wrong! She has no problem if I do it or anyone masterbates but she thinks it wrong for her...

She likes it when I use my hand on her but has never reached climax through that.

[Lovediva]

Buy her some toys...let her reach orgasm by herself...then when you two get together she will be more relaxed and will be able to acheieve some with you...worked for me! :D

And tell her..masterbation is normal and HEALTHY!!! :D :D

I am soooooo healthy!! :p

[Nubian]

By the way, with all this useful advice, you've got to report back and let us know what happened.

[MissKitty]

sounds like my boyfriend and I....
we've now been together for 11 months and are wonderfully happy. He was my first, and I had never gotten off til I met him.
Just be paitent with her. Talk a lot- ask her what she's feeling, if sex intimidates her, what she does and doesn't like... make sure she's comfortable with everything. Let her know that it's normal to have problems getting off, especially at first. It took me 8 months. Give her time. She'll come around (so to speak) ;)

[aquachicken]

Well....I went all out!

I took her out to a nice dinner and wore a suit with all the trimmings.

Got her roses.

So we are driving back to my place when she is just like pull over NOW! ( she likes to do it in the car for some reason?!?!)

I was rather amazed! Lets just say she was as horny as hell!
I spend about 45 min petting/stroking her clitris and she was going nuts! She even kicked my dash so hard she cracked it!

(my pour Camaro)

I then ate her out for 20 or 30 minutes!

She was again screaming through this! She then jumped me! She then rode me like I have never felt before!

She was soaking wet but still no Organsm!

The next night we when to a store and picked out a dildo together! We also bought some watermelon favered lub.

The dildo was a waste of money she loved the vibrations but said it was extremely painful! I kinda questioned this because I was just as wide if not wider then the dildo but not as long I am about 7in and its 10in.

It did not even get in 3 inches.

So we placed it over her clitris and turned on the vibration to high...

Once again she went nuts and ripped my bed sheets.

Yet no organsm!

I just don't get it!

[Nubian]

Personally, I think you're missing the point. Getting an orgasm should not be the be all, end all of a sexual encounter. Sharing and having a great time is. And, from what you've described (breaking that dashboard just had me in stitches), you two had a wonderful and memorable encounter. Enjoy it and many more after (hopefully).

P.S. I must admit though it does read like she had an orgasm...but I wasn't there.

[aquachicken]

OH no....We both enjoy the experances alot!!!

I really have allot of fun! So does she...

At the times we are not trying to make he reach organsm and well we only wonder why she did not get off afterwards!

And good news!

I found a 93 Camaro at the junk yard and I took the dash out of that and fixed mine!!! :-)

If any one just out of curosity wants to see my car
http://members.glis.net/zomie

We are going out tomarrow wish me luck!

[scotzoidman]

Maybe we have a definition problem here... if she screams & kicks, gets soaking wet, I call that an orgasm... what are looking for, fire to shoot out her ass?!? Maybe I've missed something all these years...

[Lilith]

You slay me.........LMAO.....fire out her ass...Don't you know that is how you can tell if a girl is really hot!
Ok here's the thing.......... there are levels of orgasmic bliss. She may be experiencing the tightening sensations that start the whole ball rolling but never getting the orgasmic wave of release.
In other words~
Her motor may be running with the engine nice and lubed but when you step on the gas she stalls (Thought you may like the whole car analogy as you seem to love yours ;)) Anyhoooo......I would say a vibrator may not be the right tool for this job as they can over stimulate and she seems to get stimulated fine it is maybe the final release she has a problem with. I would suggest you work on her very slowly. Rub, touch, lick etc.....(all the good stuff) her in slow almost firm strokes. When she gets really worked up, stop. Distract her, kiss her, love on her....more good stuff. Then begin the slow deliberate strokes again. Do not enter her completely,(finger) until she is really wanting you to. Signs of this would be moaning, arching her back, screaming "in me now"...etc. The key is to get her relaxed and really ready before you satisfy her. I think I heard this in a movie...........If you tease her, she will come.

[scotzoidman]

Could also be something that takes time for her to break down her inhibitions that hold her back from going over the edge... & I mean maybe a looong time, hard to break down walls of guilt built from childhood!But I think AC is to be commended for making the effort, don't you?

[sugarfreecandy]

Hi, Aquachicken, and welcome to the Pixies' family...

The others who have responded are all very correct --- you two need to relax, and not focus on her orgasm as a goal. Some women can't climax at all; and most can only climax in a very loving, secure, and long-term relationship, where there is plenty of passion but no pressure. You should know, too, that very few women reach orgasm every time they have sex. The thing to keep in mind is that no orgasm definitely doesn't equal no enjoyment!!! Orgasms feel great, it's true, but everything sexual you do should be about bringing pleasure. At its best, sex is about sharing and joy and love and bliss. Play with it, make it fun, and focus on the journey, not on the destination. Particularly if she has feelings of guilt associated with sex (and everyone I have met who thinks masturbation is wrong also has some negative feelings about sex, especially pre-marital sex) it's going to take her some time to relax enough to reach orgasm. Meanwhile, you both need to chill out and enjoy the ride --- don't make her climax the focus or else the pressure may prevent her from ever getting there!

Now, it sounds to me that we need a little clarification here one way or the other about what constitutes an orgasm. From what you've said, it actually sounds like she has orgasmed, but like Nubian says, I wasn't there... There's a difference between a clitoral orgasm and a g-spot orgasm, both in terms of the sensation and of the amount of female ejaculate released. Just because you haven't been flooded with her cum may not mean that she has not orgasmed.

That said, Lilith's point that some women just can't quite let go and achieve that ultimate release is very very true. Personally, it took me a long time to get over that hump and learn to ride the wave. It can be a frightening loss of control when it's new!

One more thought, and it's one I hesitate to raise, but I think you need to consider it: how much of her thrashing and moaning and so on is real? Her reaction may be completely legitimate, in which case I apologize sincerely for even mentioning this, but it sounds so over-the-top (especially for someone inhibited by anti-sex beliefs such as masturbation being wrong) that I have to wonder if there isn't an element of acting there. It's all too easy (as a woman, and I'm sure as a man as well) to fall into the trap of thinking you have to behave like you're in a movie when you have sex. There are two big problems with that, of course: (1) your partner doesn't realize you're not being honest, so the communication breaks down and you can't set things right; and (2) you get so caught up in acting like your cumming that you aren't really focussed on what you're actually feeling, so you not only prevent your partner from knowing how to help you cum, you also prevent yourself from being fully present in that moment and therefore you prevent yourself from having an orgasm.

Now, as I say, I honestly don't know whether any of this is the case with you and your girlfriend, so if you're sure that it's not a factor then please disregard what I've said --- but if there's any doubt in your mind, then please, please make sure that you talk it out with her and clarify what's going on!!!

Good luck to both of you, in and out of bed!

--- sweetstuff

p.s. As Scotz says, good for you for putting htis much energy into pleasing your girlfriend. It should be something that everyone can take for granted, but sadly for far too many women (and especially young women with inexperienced partners) it doesn't pan out that way!

[Nic_Hex]

heheh..I love this place...good advice and let me tell you...this is a problem both women and MEN have. If you look else where on this borad you will see I had the same problem...dont think about it at all. My gf tried for MONTHS to get me off..and then one day we were just playing around..and whooppsss...messy couch..we didnt plan on it...we were just making out..and yeah...BTW, you should realax too. If you are trying then you wont preform the way you want to, and thus, you and her will both get mad (you for not doing what you do best, and her because you are upset)

Keep one last thing in mind...its not all about the sex, but the time you spend with her. If she knows your not in it for the bump n grind, she will break down the fears and then..well yeah! Ok, Im off my soap box now...happy fornications!