Worst Pick Up Lines

[Lilith]

I never really did the whole club, pick up thing. I was just curious for those of you who have been there, what is the worst pick up line you have heard?

[Nubian]

I have the F, C, and the K, all I need now is U.

[Lilith]

That is soooooooooooooooooooooo, not right! :p

[Nubian]

To this day I can't believe that I used to hang around with guys who thought that was appropriate!

Originally posted by Lilith
That is soooooooooooooooooooooo, not right! :p

[baddie_simon]

Thats a really bad line. I never was much for going out to pick up women- when I went out, it was to do drinking- for me, alcohol and loving are two things that just dont mix!

[Nubian]

The word of the day is legs, let's go back to my house and spread the word. :D :D

[Irish]

I never used pickup lines but one that I heard was:"If I told you
that you had a nice body;would you hold it against me?"I never
could believe that anyone was stupid enough to fall for them or
use them but some of them are funny! Irish

[scotzoidman]

How about

"Are your legs tired? You've been running around in my mind all night!"

[MilkToast]

well... not one that I heard in a bar, but one that was on a
"10 worst list" that happened to stick in my head..

"You wanna f***, or should I apologize?"

[Irish]

Posted by buddy;in another thread."If I died and went to Hell;at
least I had a little bit of heaven in my face." Irish

[Nubian]

Those clothes would look great in a pile at the end of my bed.

[Nubian]

That hair looks very becoming on you, and if I were on you I would be cumming too

[Lilith]

Those ARE horrid.......... :D

[blk cat]

I'd love to get into your pant's


[come back] And what would i do with two arseholes


Oz line, Do you fuck,Sheila.

reply, Not till i met you,you smooth talking basterd

[Nubian]

There are many variations on this one:

Do you wash your clothes in Windex? Cause I can see myself in your pants!

[Nubian]

Actually witnessed at a club:

A guy pulled the tag out of this girl's shirt, and when she inquired what he was doing he said, "I was just seeing if you were made in heaven."

[Lilith]

I need to chat with these friends of yours Nubian:D

[Nubian]

He, he, he! Must have been something in the water that night :D

[darkmanx]

1: Lets do some math, we can add the bed, subtract our clothes, devide your legs and multiply

2: Nice shoes.....wanna F***

3: Let's play war....ill lay down and you can blow the hell out of me

[Lilith]

but they are oh sooooo funny~ now I know why I suck at Math:D

[Oldfart]

My face leaves at 10, be on it!

[Oldfart]

How about dinner and sex? No? Not hungry?

[Oldfart]

It's not raining, heaven's crying for surely it's missing it's

most beautiful angel.

[luv2please]

Lets play carvival: You sit on my face and I'll guess your weight!

[Irish]

Has anybody besides me noticed that Nubian&oldfart; know an
awful lot of these?Something must be drawn from this.Maybe they
used most of them.Otherwise;why would they know so many.Old
fart might have learned them over the years but I don't think that
Nubian is that old.Over sexed and undernourished maybe! Irish

[Lilith]

I think I would have gone home with you anyway because you would have made me laugh so hard!:)

[Nubian]

Definitely oversexed. And, wrt your inference, let's just say I was once young, foolish, and desperate (I was always being told my the ladies that I was just too nice for boyfriend material)

Originally posted by Irish
Has anybody besides me noticed that Nubian&oldfart; know an
awful lot of these?Something must be drawn from this.Maybe they
used most of them.Otherwise;why would they know so many.Old
fart might have learned them over the years but I don't think that
Nubian is that old.Over sexed and undernourished maybe! Irish

[Nubian]

I seem to have misplaced my number. Can I have yours?

and

I'm sorry, were you talking to me??? No, then please start.

[Nubian]

This one has many variations:

Excuse me, are those Spacepants your wearing? Cause your ass is outta this world!

[Irish]

Nubian---Telling you that you're to nice is just a womans way of
saying "No!"and putting you off without hurting your feelings yet
keeping you for a friend&protector. Irish
P.S.I hope that you know that I am kidding!

[Nubian]

LOL. So true Irish, so true.

[Lovediva]

I love every bone in your body - especially mine!

Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way, right away.

Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

[Oldfart]

Learned them watching mates hit brick walls at a great

rate of knots.

Best (or worst) was, "and what are we having for breakfast?"

[Nubian]

Wanna sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

[Nubian]

Do you sleep on your stomach? No? Can I?

[Oldfart]

Do you taste as great as you look?

[legend]

Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

If it's true that we are what we eat, then i could be you by morning.

I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Do you work for the Post Office because I thought I saw you checking out my package?

I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

Hi. I'm Mr Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

Nice Legs. What time do they open?

My name is ........ Remember that. You'll be screaming it later.

[Lilith]

I am just PMPL. :D

[Lovediva]

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?


Omg...I have heard this one!!!! And it worked on me...LMAO!! :D :D

[Irish]

I think that I will have to add Legend to the Oldfart&Nubian list.
Feel honored legend;it's a very selective list! Irish

[legend]

i am honoured.....i grovel at your feet ;)

[Irish]

Legend---Don't grovel.I was kidding.Most of your pickup lines had
me roaring.Some of those are so funny. Irish

[legend]

i was kidding too :)

some more lines:

I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked

If I were you, I'd have sex with me.

I'm a birdwatcher and you've got to be the prettiest one I've seen all day.

[Nubian]

Is your daddy a baker cuz you got a nice set of buns.

Do fries come with that shake?

[Nubian]

Theres a party in your mouth and I'm coming

[Nubian]

Those pants are very becoming on you...if I was them I'd be coming on you too.

[Aqua]

My wife told me that a LONG time ago a black man asked her if she wanted... "some soul in her hole."
Ack!

[Ophelia]

These are actual lines thrown at me in the last 4 years. All by men, I might add...

As I was grabbing Gatorade at the 7-11 "That's illegal!" (I abruptly ask "what?" he replies "...you making that Gatorade look so good!" (Ick)

"Hey...if you are what you eat, can I be you tonight?"

Bloke sprinkles liquid from his drink at me and says "we oughta get you home and outta those wet clothes!"

"There's a Party in my pants, and you're invited!"

Of course, I can be just as smarmy. I love to sit on a woman's lap, run my thumb sensually across her lips and ask "is this seat taken?" ;)

Ophelia

[Lilith]

You are tooo funny!:D

[BamaKyttn]

Originally posted by Ophelia
These are actual lines thrown at me in the last 4 years. All by men, I might add...
"There's a Party in my pants, and you're invited!"
Ophelia

Ophelia Corallary, one of my friends and I were on our way home from a formal dance, I stopped at a gas (petrol) station for snacks and gas, a carload of guys came up and asked us "hey ladies, where's the party?" my reply as she and I got in the car was "under my skirt and you're not invited" then she and I sped off laughing.... I love my stickshift it sounds so wonderful when I speed off, I decide when to shift so it sounds like it has more than a 4 cyl.


oooh one line I used just to destroy the mood .... my g/f said "I'm sooo horny I'm not going to be able sleep for weeks..." I moved and whispered in her ear " no one ever died from over-arousal."
Always
Kyttn

[NaughtyNurse]

I've also heard many of these, but the one that I'll always remember is, "I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I would love to make your Bed Rock!"

[Nubian]

I bet your dad's a thief. Why? Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes. :D

[Nubian]

"Do you have a quarter?" No, why? "Well, my mom told me to call her when I fall in love."

[Nubian]

Can I have your mother's address so I can send her a thank you note....

[Oldfart]

Wil Ma help?

[Oldfart]

Little girl want a boiled lolly?

Oops, carried away there!

[Nubian]

Just call me milk, I'll do your body good.

[Nubian]

I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

[Nubian]

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

[Nubian]

Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long.

[Nubian]

If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?

[Oldfart]

Do you come here often? Can I?

[Lady_Flynn]

My favorite bod pick-up line that was used frequently at my college..."Hey baby, nice shoes - wanna fuck?"

[Nubian]

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

[Nubian]

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I've seem to have lost mine.

[legend]

honestly Nubian, you and I must hang around the same people. I've heard most of the pick up lines and jokes you've posted. :)

[ROCKHARD]

Hey baby! You got any fries to go with that shake!

[Nubian]

LOL...they are like cliches, most everyone has heard them at some point.


Originally posted by legend
honestly Nubian, you and I must hang around the same people. I've heard most of the pick up lines and jokes you've posted. :)

[Nubian]

What's a sexy woman like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

[Nubian]

I just want to tell you that you have a price to pay for being this cute, and I'm here to collect... your phone number, that is.

[Nubian]

Did you know women are like parking spots? All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. Which are you?

[Reverend Silky]

"excuse me, sugarbutt, but is that a keg in yer backpocket?"

she looks behind herself... "no, why?"

"because i'd really like to tap that ass."

[Nubian]

You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

[Nubian]

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

[Nubian]

Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?

[Lilith]

Nubian~
You are killing me....................... You were a quite the pick up artist before the Mrs., I bet!

[Nubian]

Oh, how I wish. :p :p :p

[Nubian]

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

[Nubian]

I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

[Nubian]

Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.

[MilkToast]

Nubian... some of those are horrid! I'll have to try them out in the bar tonight ;)

[Nubian]

Hee, hee, hee. I'm always happy to help one spice up one's love live. A bit of advice though, wear a helmet!


Originally posted by ny_play02
Nubian... some of those are horrid! I'll have to try them out in the bar tonight ;)

[MilkToast]

I think I'll take one with a full face mask!

[Irish]

I'm not familiar with C&W.Wasn't there a song named something
like--The girls always get prettier at closing time?If there was;it
sounds like the perfect time to use Nubians last few! Irish

[Nubian]

An even better idea, especially if you try the following line:

If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?


Originally posted by ny_play02
I think I'll take one with a full face mask!

[everready]

I'm too lazy to read the thread but can I put forward the time honoured....

put your coat on love..you've scored

[Nubian]

Best time to use these lines Irish. Of course I'm not speaking from personal experience :D

Originally posted by Irish
I'm not familiar with C&W.Wasn't there a song named something
like--The girls always get prettier at closing time?If there was;it
sounds like the perfect time to use Nubians last few! Irish

[jugghead]

wanna play vacum. you suck while i empty the bag

if i told you you had a beautiful body would you hold it aginst me

is that a mirror in your lap cause i can see myself down there

[cock man]

Tommy Hilfiger must be God because I found heaven in your pants!

Or how about- Do you have a band aid, because I scraped my knee when i fell for you.

[Lilith]

Oh Boys! those lines are so bad, I wuld probably go home with you to teach you a lesson ;)

[legend]

you know if u used them in a humourous way, they might work....or u might get slapped
take a chance

[Nubian]

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

[Nubian]

You can feel the magic between us... No, lower!

[Nubian]

Wanna get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

[legend]

I have a fire in my loins. Wanna put it out?

[legend]

You look cold. How about i warm you up.

[Oldfart]

Mate claimed that the best result came at the end of the

night with "It's getting late, want a fuck?"

[scotzoidman]

OF - sounds like an approach that might result in lots of faceslaps, but the success ratio for those who prefer the direct method might well be worth it...

[cock man]

I must be allergic to you because I'm starting to swell up

[Mercury_Maniac]

Do you wanna fuck or should i apologize?

[Mercury_Maniac]

(lick your finger and touch their shirt sleeve and say)

"Lets Get you outta those wet clothes"

[Mercury_Maniac]

(look at the tag on the person's shirt and when they ask what your doing reply with)

"I'm sorry I was just looking to see if you were made in Heaven, cause your an Angel"

[Mercury_Maniac]

You can call me Fred Flintstone cause i'll make your Bed Rock!

[Nubian]

Is your father a cop cuz you got fine written all over you

[Nubian]

If I said you had a nice body would you hold it against me

[Nubian]

My watch says you're not wearing any panties...oh it's just an hour fast

[mindboxer505]

you guys may be able to ''quote'' this one better, but i remember one that went........SOMETHING LIKE...........Babe you look sick........let the love doctor give you the cure(?)............anyone heard somthing like this and can clean it up a bit????????

[sugarfreecandy]

This just landed in my Inbox --- apologies if some of these have been posted before; I've skimmed out the ones I recognized immediately but I have doubtless missed a line or three... (The scary thing about this collection is that I've actually heard a lot of these put to use. The even scarier thing is how often they worked... :rolleyes: )

PICK-UP LINES:

The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the
answer to this question?

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking?

You with those curves, and me with no brakes ...

Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

Wow! Are those real?

If you stood infront of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

Most people like to watch the (i.e. World Cup, Stanley Cup, Superbowl, NBA playoffs, etc..) because it only happens once a year/every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you 'cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.

Did it hurt? (What?) When you fell from heaven ... Did it hurt?

Girl, you must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all day!

Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! Well in that case, D'ya wanna do lunch?

Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.

Nice Shoes. Wanna fuck?

Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Pocahontas?

Hey babe, how about a pizza and some sex? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

I'm going to have sex with you tonight no matter what so you might as well be there.

Can I flirt with you?

I admit, I'm kind of a geek by day ... But I'm a sex machine by night!

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.

Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?

Be unique and different, say yes.

You make me so nervous and flustered, I've completely forgotten my standard pick-up line.

What is a slutty girl like you doing in a classy place like this? OOPS! I mean, what is nice girl like you doing in a dump like this?

Hi, my name's {name}. Remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight!

My name is {name}, but you can call me anything at all. Just call me.

He: Excuse me, want to dance?
She: No.
He: Maybe you didn't hear me... I said you look really fat in those pants!

He : Hey Baby ... Wanna dance?
She : No.
He : Oh, C'mon! Lower you're standards a little. I did...

[sugarfreecandy]

Of course, if he's going to be a wise guy, she's got to have a chance to respond in kind...

REBUTTALS TO PICK-UP LINES

He: I'd really like to get into your pants.
She: No thanks. There's already one asshole in there.

He: So, wanna go back to my place?
She: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

He: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
She: It's in the phone book.
He: But I don't know your name.
She: That's in the phone book too.

A guy comes up to a girl and tells her some pick-up line. She grabs his crotch, looks down at it, looks back at him, and says, "Sorry, I don't see any potential here" and nonchalantly walks off.

After hearing a pick-up line: I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

[mindboxer505]

SFC.......OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOOD COME BACKS THOUGH!!!!LOL

[Oldfart]

SFC

Did I detect a "Wish I'd said that" in the last posting?

[Grumble]

A friend of mine , we called him Tunza (Tons of Bulshit LOL) and I went to a Pizza place on Friday night in the days of my youth.

There was a simply gorgeous young lady there waiting for a pizza her boobs were simply amazing and she had a very revealing top on.

'Geez' said Tunza at the very top of his voice, 'Look at the tits on THAT!!!'

the girl went bright red and picked up her pizza, and as she went by Tunza she kneed him in the balls and left telling him he could have pizza with mashed nuts.

I thought it was funny but Tunza couldn't seem to appreciate it LOL

[danziggy]

i got a pick up line ......

nice pants.........how do u get in them??



I have to say ive used most of the lines used here!!
My friends and i used to see how slaps you get in a night! I once got 9! But i did go home with a girl at the end of the night! It was one of the girls that had slapped me!

She said i was the funniest one she had heard so lets go.


mind you i have been necking with a girl and she said to me ..........youre turning me on i must go now.

She turned and ran out of the club and vanished!
I was gutted! She a hottie!! never mind.

[Lovediva]

:D

[Lovediva]

:D

[Lovediva]

:D

[Lovediva]

Try this again...grrrrr :D

[Lovediva]

:D

[thesaintar]

(true one, after a cold shoulder) I'd really like to put a lemmon between your tits, a bottle of soda up your ass and lick your pussy until i get Mountain Dew out of it

[thesaintar]

Wanna dance some or should we fast-forward to the fucking part?

[thesaintar]

HE: Wanna dance?
SHE: No!
HE: then nevermind my fucking proposal

[axe31]

hi iam a practasing homosexual want to make me perfect
this did work on me
;)

[Murphy]

this one actually worked for a Tall, Dark Handsome friend of mine:

"I'm a male lesbian....wanna new girlfriend?"

[icecreamthighs]

I knew a guy who would walk up to two girls and say to one

'do you want to dance?'
when she said 'yes' he said 'well go on - I want to talk to your friend'

that's just mean!

[GermanSteve]

"This way please...or do you want to dance before?"

[vampeyes]

I may not be the best looking guy in this place but I'm the only one talking to you.

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on the face of the earth tonight.

Is that a ladder in your pants or just the stairway to heaven?

[vampeyes]

You might not be the best looking woman in the place but beauty is only a light switch away.

If it's true we are what we eat I could be you by morning.

You know - if I were you - I'd have sex with me.

[big_yin]

A couple I heard my mates use regularly a few years back were:

"Do you want to sit on my face and breakdance??"

or

"my tongue is leaving in 5 minutes, be on it!"

[raraa]

ok a better one (or worse) is:

guy :wow !! what a fabulous dress !!
girl:thx!
guy :but it would better on the floor beside my bed!

or

hey baby wanna make a baby

[axe31]

worst hi iam hung like a horse want a ride
or hi iam hung like rino want to play with my horn

this rose is pale next to your beauty(then give them the rose)
that is one of my lines what do you think

another your eyes are so deep i may drown in them

[Sugarsprinkles]

Geez, some of these lines make me appreciate the "moldy oldies" like "Do you come here often?" or "What's your sign?" or "Are you new around here?":D

[raraa]

yeah but i have one thats totally confusing, what should girls answer this:

"fuck me if i am wrong but u want to kiss me"

hahahaha

[Nubian]

Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?

[kimmer22]

Ok I don't feel like searching thru all the posts...but here is one I laugh about......

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

[panacea]

This happened just last week when I was walking from my car into work in my little waiting uniform.

"Ooooh baby, you are makin my heart buuuuurn!"

I walked inside and said to the bartender:
"You know, I always thought heartburn was a BAD thing!"

Let's see though, cheesy lines I've used recently on my boyfriend for a laff:
(said in little girl lost voice) I dwopped my lollypop, do you have anything I can suck on?
I have an oral fixation, do you have anything I can put in my mouth?
It's too bad you have a thing about handcuffs, cause I'd like to handcuff you to a bed and lick you all over for hours.

One I heard on tv recently:
After tonight you will be walking sideways for the rest of your life, because I will have used ALL your up and down. ;)
Or, my new favorite from Ally:
I contract just LOOKING at you.

Thanks for all the suggestions! We're both actors and there's a point in the show we're doing on stage when I lean in and whisper in his ear. Won't he be surprised to hear all these great lines? :D

panacea

[Lilith]

I loved this thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Aqua]

Ok... I recommend no one use this line...

"Hey... I'm friends with Aqua..."*

:p




















*Unless you're skip or WildIrish :jedi: :p

[WildIrish]

<--- is soooooo glad ^^^^ said that first! lmao

[skipthisone]

I agree with WI

[Ryan²]

Originally posted by Nubian
I have the F, C, and the K, all I need now is U. They should make it: I have the F, the C, and U can make it K.

[Mercury_Maniac]

"fuck me if i'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?"

or

"hey you wanna fuck? or should i apologize?"

[FuckACanuck]

I didn't check to see if these were already, here if so my apologies...

"You must work at Subway... Cause you've given me a foot long"

" Is your name Campbell Soup? Cause your MMM MMM Good"

:)

[Oldfart]

Some really good fun here, and some people here well missed.

[FuckACanuck]

Sorry again if this is here already...

I may not be Fred Flintstone but I sure can make your Bedrock :devilish: