cutting

[jaymz]

The last two months I have been in a reallly shitty state of mind trying to get over somebody, and I just want her to be my best friend again but it's as though she doesn't want that even.. as an added kick in the teeth she is getting really flirty friendly with my closest male friend..and seems to take pleasure in telling me the details. have just been very tempted to cut myself, and I've thought about it before but I take pride in the fact no matter how bad i've felt I managed to be strong enough in term's of mind to stop before I did something I'd regret. I know I'd regret cutting myself and that I'll get over her and everything if I am honest and rational... i just don't want to. hey, yah boo..teenage angst has paid off well, now I'm bored & old.

[Aqua]

Through my limited experience I've noticed that it's generally a bad idea to try and be friends with someone after a breakup... maybe a couple years down the road it will work out, but even then things can get pretty sketchy. Especially when it comes to your ex's love life. My advice, (do with it what you will), is to steer clear of her. No contact at all. Good luck, and remember... be kind to your body, it's the only one you get... :)

[Lilith]

The faster you run away the more likely she is to chase you. All that being good advice if the person you want is good for you. Someone who leaves you with feeings of self destruction is not "the one" and not good enough to be "the one right now" either. Keep a cool head. You can not erase internal pain by causing external pain or vice versa. Pretend you are over her and eventually you will be. There is some one (or 2 or 3) who will help you get over her. Friends don't fuck other friend's exs so avoid the whole scene. Make a new friend, talk to someone you would not normally. Break the pattern. Talk don't cut. You can find solice in talking but no answers in pain. Good luck~~~~~~> Lilith

[Nice Guy]

Cutting yourself is not the answer. Find someone you can talk to about how you feel and try to stay away from the ex. If you continue to feel the need to cut go to a professional right away.

[NurseTraci]

Jaymz,

Please, please listen to me when I say this. Cutting your self can only do more harm, physically and mentally. I had a friend who thought that cutting was her answer and she only cut her artery and was in the hospital for months. Please, please do not cut yourself. It breaks my heart that you feel that this is the only way to solve your porblems. Please talk to someone, even if it is me. Please......

[Nubian]

Its an old saw that time heals all wounds, but it is true. Cutting will only accomplish one thing: hurting yourself. I know it's difficult letting go of someone you care deeply about--we've all been there, believe me--but sometimes it is the best thing to do. Jaymz, you've taken the most important step by acknowledging that you are angry and hurt and by expressing this rage and frustation in a positive manner through writing about it in this forum. You must continue to vent your frustration, either by speaking with a friend or professional, or, if you prefer, continue to reach out to us in this forum. You will find that talking (writing) really helps and will, in time, dull the sharp edge of anguish you are feeling at this moment. Please continue to reach out. And remember, your Pixies family is here if you need us.

[ROCKHARD]

You have everything to live for and nothing to die for. You aree young and there is plenty of things to look forward to in life. You havent seen the tip of it yet.

[Nubian]

Well said, Rockhard. Well said.

[Oldfart]

Went through this with a girl a few years back.

Simple answer is to find someone who can overpower

the obsession. Doesn't need to be the love of your life,

just someone willing to have fun for a while.

When you realise that the ex is just "putting in the boot"

subtly, you can either ignore her or even better let her

see you are having genuine fun with someone else.

Pissed my ex off hugely. Just a thought.

Remember, self-respect comes from within you.

[david owiye]

Very well said rockhard, i wouldn't put it any better myself.