Curious about Aussies!

[Sharni]

I'm curious to know how many members we have here at Pixies from the land DownUnder....

Come on:)....leave a post so we fellow Aussies know your around!

Im a Q'lander from somewhere west of Brisbane

Sharniqua

[Bilbo]

Shit , Shani, we could be neighbours.......how freaky is that.LMAO

[TDK]

Oi!!!

We are downunder tooo, dont exclude the Kiwis too :p

[Sharni]

Bilbo you just wait til you get home...i'll show ya neighbourly...*LOL*

TDK - Oi!! to you to...*L*

OK...Nz'ders can join in too:D

Sharniqua

[TDK]

awww, Sharni 'Oied' me, hahaha

can u show how neighbourly u are Sharni?? :D;)

[Oldfart]

Toowoomba way or closer to Esk?

Remember, Darwin is only a 40hr drive.

[Sharni]

Definately Toowoomba way :D

Bilbo and i just may have to tackle the 40hr drive one day....never been to Darwin...If we do we'll drop in and annoy the crap out of ya...*lmao*:D:D:D:D:D;)

Sharniqua

[tessi]

Lol .. Hello Everyone ....

[Sharni]

Surely amongst the 3500 + members there are more of us Aussies???

Sharniqua

[Oldfart]

looking forward to seeing you and Bilbo.

Always room for another couple somewhere in this dogbox.

Bring supplies, beer and scotch.

On second thoughts buy the beer here (no XXXX please)

[DRoblair]

:D :D

Yes Sharni, there are more of us from Downunder who think this is one of the best sites on the net.

And looking at your pics all I can do is quote Billy Moore from a couple of years ago with the state of origin footy-

QUEENSLANDER

[killjoy83]

I'm from Brisbane.

[Irish]

I'm from southern Conn.Is that "Downunder" enough? Irish
P.S.It's "Downunder" New England!

[Ophelia]

Lived in Adelaide and Perth for a while...

headed farther down (read into that all you want!) to settle in with some Kiwi's near Picton. Saw both islands...and so much more!!!

Love the women. Whish you were ALL here. (No offense men, I enjoy a threesome, foursome, etc...but I REALLY love the ozzie pussy!)

Muah!

Someone shout me a Coopers Pale and some Tim Tams PLEASE!

Ophelia

[Sharni]

MMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...Tim Tams! :p

Food of the Gods :D...they are enough to make me awful glad I'm an Aussie...

Now i wonder what fun i could have with a packet of those:D;)

Sharniqua

[Ophelia]

Sharn...

there are heaps of possibilities that include your sexy body, my tongue and a packet of Tim Tams!

I'll dream away....

Ophelia

[the_phantom]

Another one from Gods own country, but living down south at the moment, in Canberra Country

[Oldfart]

Phantom,

not seen you in the Northern Territory

hi anyway

(sorry sharni)

[Sharni]

Sorry sharni??

Why OldFart?....what did you do?? :)

And if it was good i want pictures...*LOL* :D:D

Sharniqua

[jaypea1]

hi
have to admit I am also an aussie and proud of it
as a first timer on this site i must say how much i enjoy the
reparte and friendlyness
jaypea1

[Sharni]

Welcome jaypea1

Always glad to meet a new member :)

Sharniqua

[Adrian]

Me too :)

[Sharni]

Hiya Adrian

Always great to meet another newbie....and an Aussie one at that.....Welcome to Pixies :D:D:D

Which part of Oz are you from?

Sharniqua

[SpanishEyes]

From Geelong, Victoria.


C'mon, Aussie, c'mon, c'mon.

[justLindy]

I'm new in here, but Aussie too. North WA
Hello to every one
:)

[Sharni]

Basic Guide To Aussie Life

1. The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.

2. The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.

3. Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery , there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.

4. If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's probably a media billionaire. Or on the other hand, he may be a wharfie.

5. There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.

6. On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.

7. Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the plastic milk crate.

8. All our best heroes are losers.

9. The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.

10. It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.

11. A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of Australian footwear. A group of sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.

12. It is proper to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard". By contrast, your worst enemy is "a bit of a bastard".

13. Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can be traced to the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the 1890s, and the development of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship". Alternatively, Australians may just be really hopeless with names.

14. The wise man chooses a partner who is attractive not only to himself, but to the mosquitoes.

15. If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it's not worth fixing.

16. The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one that has the swimming pool.

17. It's considered better to be down on your luck than up yourself.

18. The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in the family drinks too much.

19. If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and then spend all night drinking the host's beer. (Don't worry, he'll have catered for it).

20. If there's any sort of free event or party within a hundred kilometres, you'd be a mug not to go.

21. The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. You should take everything you own. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car, you're not trying.

22. Unless ethnic or a Pom, you are not permitted to sit down in your front yard, or on your front porch. Pottering about, gardening or leaning on the fence is acceptable. Just don't sit. That's what backyards are for.

23. The tarred road always ends just after the house of the local mayor.

24. On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only ever be solved by leaving the food behind.

[legend]

god i love being an aussie :p

[Sharni]

The Great Australian Male

There are large men the whole world over on a
large and varied scale,
But none of them resemble
the Great Australian Male.
He's rugged and he's handsome,
he drinks beer instead of wine,
he's always out for pleasure,
of a very simple kind.
He's either off to see the footy
with a dozen cans or more,
or fishing with his buddies,
getting drunk along some shore.
He thinks he's quite a lover,
and he's sexy and discreet,
that he can get you in a quiver
from your head down to your feet.
But when he's got you ready,
lying limpid 'neath the sheet,
you hear a snore and turn around
to find him sound asleep.
He's a funny sort of fellow
with more pride than he's got sense
and if you told him he was wrong,
he'd only take offence.
Oh, there are men who take you dancing,
out to dinner twice a week.
men who never dress in faded jeans
or die to take a leak.
Yes there are men the whole world over
men with "charm" and "sense of style",
but how could we compare them to
The Great Australian Male

[Sharni]

The Beer Prayer

Our Lager
Which art in barrels
Hallowed be thy drink
Thy will be drunk ( I will be drunk )
At home as if in tavern
Give us this day our foamy head
And forgive us our spillages
As we forgive those who spill against us
And lead us not to incarceration
But deliver us from hangovers
For thine is the beer, the bitter, the lager
For ever and ever....

barmen

[Sharni]

Q: How many Australian men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It's a woman's job

[scotzoidman]

How can you not love a country, that takes itself so un-seriously as to pick a song like "Waltzing Matilda" as its national anthem?

[Grumble]

I am an Aussie Aussie Aussie, OI OI OI!!!!

From Launceston in Tasmania, Australias Island State, smallest in area and population but the second established colony of European settlement.

The Australian national anthem is 'Advance Australia Fair' not Waltzing Matailda'. sorry to our our friendly previous post, but you are dead wrong Mate lol. However you are forgiven but its your shout when we meet orlright?

a few bits of australian slang for all you people who think we dont speak english

Bludger - someone who is lazy
beyond the black stump - far away - in the outback
drongo - stupid
Bastard - can be an insult or a term of endearment. If you met your best mate and greeted him 'with owyergoin you stupid bastard' he would grin and say 'orlright you fat gutted bald prick' and that would be considered friendly. However if you called someone you didn't know a bastard, then that would be extremely insulting. Its not the actual words its the way they are delivered.
Root - some thing that holds up trees but also slang for fuck. So if an american comes to australia and says she is rooting for a team, it will be greeted with first, astonishment and then laughter
a coldy - a beer also known as a tinny (a can of beer) a stubbie ( a small bottle of beer) a Darwin stubby is a fucking huge bottle of beer
sheila - a woman
bloke - a man

Some nick names that confuse
Bluey - guy with red hair
Shorty - a tall man

the best nickname I heard was a bloke in the Air Force and he was called buff. It wasnt till about a year after I was working with him and calling him Buff that I found out that it stood for Bloody Useless Fat Fool. it was an apt description and so australian that buff accepted the nickname with pride.

I am proud to be an Aussie and appreciate our culture of giving people a fair go, having the ability to laugh at ourselves and being friendly and forthright.

I also enjoy meeting people from other nations and getting to know them and making friendships.

Pixies is a bloody ripper of a site and I enjoy it a lot.

Good on yezl

Ian M
aka Grumbleguts

[Oldfart]

Grumbleguts

BUFF is also slang for the B-52 (Big Ugly Fat Fucker) a yank term.

A Darwin Stubby is just a dear way to buy a six pack.

I suspect Zoid was taking the piss on Matilda.

[Sharni]

It is true that our Official National Anthem is "Advance Australia Fair"
But Aussies have adopted "Waltzing Matilda" as it Unofficial Nation Anthem
And then we have The Royal Anthem...."God Save The Queen"

About the Aussie flag

The Australian flag is composed of three parts:
The Union Jack (British flag) in the top left corner,
The 'Star of Federation' in the bottom left corner, and
The Southern Cross, taking up the right half of the flag.

The Union Jack shows that the first colonisation by Europeans was by Britain. The Star of Federation is a seven pointed star. They came to the number seven, by giving each state (six in all) a point on the star, and having one more point for Australia's territories (of which there are several). There are two mainland territories, and several overseas, including two in Antarctica. The Southern Cross is a constellation that can be seen from all of Australia's states and territories.

[scotzoidman]

I stand corrected... I had heard or read that was the national anthem, & it stuck in my Useless Trivia File... but my post was & is intended as a compliment, I'll try to get my facts straight in the future

[legend]

nah, she's apples Scotz...some aussies even think we should change it to that.
as grumbleguts said "your shout" - you'll be everyones mate then

some more trivia for you Scotz - Waltzing Matilda was written by the great Australian poet Andrew Barton "Banjo" Paterson. The words that are generally sung are not the original words written.

[scotzoidman]

Originally posted by legend
nah, she's apples Scotz...some aussies even think we should change it to that.
as grumbleguts said "your shout" - you'll be everyones mate then
Ok, I've misplaced my Aussie/Redneck translation guide, so if someone would just 'splain to me what the heck this statement means?!? :confused: (preferably in Southern US dialect)

[Sharni]

"She's apples" = everything is ok

"your shout" is short for your shout for the next round of drinks....in other words your turn to pay for them :D

[scotzoidman]

Oh..uh...ok...I, uh... think I hear my wife calling... uh, next time, ok?

[Oldfart]

Zoid

You can run but you can't hide.

A Pint of Buttercotch schnapps please.

In your own time.

OF

[legend]

are u avoiding your turn Scotz?.....note you will be hunted mercilessly and if you're not found, banned from the pub forever :)

[Grumble]

Originally posted by Oldfart
Zoid

You can run but you can't hide.

A Pint of Buttercotch schnapps please.

In your own time.

OF

You must have a strong constitution OF LOL. Crikey a pint of schnapps!!! That is strong stuff. Hope you have a good credit limit on that credit card Scotz he he.

I will settle for a bundeburg rum and diet coke.

[Sharni]

I'll have a glass of HotSex thanx....with ice :D:p

[mindboxer505]

OKAY, Someone explain the phrase.. ''how's yur bum for warts''.
heard that one on the animal planet channel from the guy on the show''Crocodile Hunter'' maybe i didn't spell it right bu maybe someone can figure it out and straighten me out..........

[scotzoidman]

Ok, it's on me... sometimes my arm gets short when reaching for my wallet lol

[Sharni]

''how's yur bum for warts''
Hmmmm....mindboxer

Can you remember what context Steve(Croc Hunter) used the phrase?....
I haven't heard this one myself...but us Aussies maybe able to work it out

Though i'm thinking it maybe a different way of asking "How are you"....as it is similar to the phrase...."Hows ya Mother's chooks" or "Hows it hanging"

It's an Aussie thing to ask in a roundabout way...*L*

[legend]

have to agree with Sharnie on this....just another roundabout way of asking how are you.

try some of these pages for aussie slang
http://www.aussieslang.com/default.asp
http://www.geocities.com/NapaValley/4699/ (can be annoying)
http://www.koalanet.com/australian-slang.html

[Oldfart]

Scotzoidman

The expression "long pockets" also refers to the problem.

Mindboxer,

Sometimes when a TV person has to pad out a commentary,

they say the strangest things. Not Aussie, just TV.

[mindboxer505]

WELL..... it was during a conversation with his american wife and it Was a greeting........I just was wondering if their was a ''story ''behind the greeting . she was trying to say it Aussie style and steve told her to just say Hi...lol..........thanks for the infoon the sites,Legend, i'll take a look.......thanks to all of ya for your help......
just a guess but like in the usa there are slang terms for different areas(midwest/south/california) ........could this be a local term to his area?????? Cause i did think she said that he was one of the few she has heard it from.........anyway
i think it'd be a funny term to say to someone and se them go
''WHAT???'' LOL....... thanks for all info

[legend]

well not all terms are used a lot nowadays.....some are more reserved for the older generations....it's probably one of them. as for the local thing, not to my knowledge....ask Sharnie or Bilbo, they live closer to his zoo.

[Bilbo]

Many saying are localised, and yes
legend your right about the zoo, tis about 2 hours north west, but the majority of the aussie slang is very general, such as Legend and Grumbleguts being refered to as "Mexican" although they live in different states they are both still south of the border,

And as much as I do not find Steve that interesting, I will tell you that the Australia Zoo, that is his is quite a bloody good show

[legend]

Originally posted by Bilbo
such as Legend and Grumbleguts being refered to as "Mexican" although they live in different states they are both still south of the border

what??? I'm a qld'er, same as you.

[mindboxer505]

I don't get that interested in his show.......but my kids can sit for hours if i let them and watch him ''play'' with crocs, snakes, and other ''lil beauties''............just had to throw that one out there and see if anyone could make sense of it.......thanks for all replies........

[Irish]

mindboxer505---When I am "babysitting"my autistic grandson;he
will watch the same video tape;so many times;that I know the words by heart.Your kids aren't that unusual;kids stay interested
in boring things forever. Irish

[legend]

if you're an aussie and you have kids, you aren't taking enough notice of them if you don't know all the words to all the Wiggles songs. :D

[xanne]

~Legend,

Wot are Wiggles? Another aussie phenomenon?

[mindboxer505]

four very cheerful guys on a kids show.....

[legend]

they are four guys involved in kids entertainment....they must know what they're doing, they're all millionaires....they are actually qualified and the songs are educational :)

they're just getting started over in the US

[Irish]

Somehow;I don't think a group known as "wiggles"would have
lasted ;very long; in the old motorcycle world. Irish

[Bilbo]

LOL Legend. thought that would get a bite

[Grumble]

the wiggles are getting rich and have already invaded the USA LOL

Did a better job than that creep Osama Bin Laden and his drongo mates. They only took some of your money and left some happiness behind. Very good childrens group.

Queenslanders are regarded as a weird mob down this end of the country. After all they were the dipsticks who left Tasmania off the map in the opening ceremony at the Commonwealth Games in Brisbane. Doubt if they will ever be forgiven for that down here.

A funny thing about Australia is that the accent has few changes length and breadth of the country. Unlike the noticable differences in the USA and in the British Isles.

[Sharni]

Queenslanders are regarded as a weird mob down this end of the country. After all they were the dipsticks who left Tasmania off the map in the opening ceremony at the Commonwealth Games in Brisbane. Doubt if they will ever be forgiven for that down here
Errrrrrmmmmmmm...well i'm a Queenslander and i know i sure as hell didn't design the map that was used....

So why am i classed as a dipstick? Dont blame all us Q'landers for what a few mistakingly did...

[legend]

what is Tasmania??? :D :D :D

[Grumble]

Originally posted by legend
what is Tasmania??? :D :D :D

It was that bludger Legend LOL

I have a commerative T shirt, a map of Australia with Queensland missing, very popular in Tasmania at the time. The New Zealand reaction to the underarm Trevor Chappell delivery was about the same intensity as the outrage here over that particular blunder.

Nothing like being ignored to get people offside.

Maybe we ought to ask John Howard to say sorry lol, or even get Queensland to sign a treaty. LMAO

[legend]

that is hilarious.....it's so stupid, it's funny (the map thing) :)

considering i was a toddler at the time, i think i can be forgiven for leaving Tassie off the map :)

[Irish]

Legend---I'm not from Austrailia but EVEN I know that Tasmania is
where the" Tasmanian Devil"is from. Irish

[legend]

i've always wondered what that bit hanging off the bottom of our maps was :D

[Sharni]

LOL@legend

But on the serious side....Tassie is an absolutely gorgeous place....Bilbo & I took the motorbike over a toured the state(its a suprisingly big place & we only got to skim it) and boy do they have some great bike roads :D....Whilst we were there we never come across one Taswegian that was not friendly and helpful....

I know we will eventually get back there for another trip.....i love the place..

[Grumble]

to come to Tassie and I would be very upset if you didn't visit me when you did.

Dunno about Legend LOL. Maybe he was a toddler when all that happened, but he must have been a vicious one. Fancy doing that to poor old Tassie.

I have had a bit of fun with this thread, got my own back for calling my footy code aerial ping pong. You should be proud that we have our own unique game instead of having to borrow a pommy one.

Maybe it is Joh's fault. mmmmmmm

Come to think of it that bigotted old bugger was around then as Premier of Qld.

OK Legend you are off the hook mate. You can come down too but dont bring any bloody cane toads or you will get fed to the Tassy Devils. Actually the Tasdevil is a nasty scavenger, the hyena of the Tasmanian bush. Got the name because of the bloodcurling scream they make, scared the living crap out of the early settlers. They have a jaw like you wouldnt believe. they could bite your leg off no probs. but they rarely approach a human unless they sense you are incapacitated.

[Oldfart]

Yes, a marsupial version of a pit bull terrier, all jaw and shoulders.

[Irish]

grumbleguts---I was only fooling around!The only"Tasmanian Devil"that I know is a cartoon character. Irish

[legend]

grumble, this is for you.....all in good fun though :D

aerial ping pong is a wusses version of footy, made up by a bunch of sooks in Victoria :D

incidently, I can't recall there being a Tassie side in the comp, didn't even know you played it.

[legend]

and the cane toad will eventually make it down there....they just need to build up a bit more resistance to the cold and catch a ride over.....then look out

[Grumble]

No there isnt because we dont have the financial resources to support one. It costs about $8M a year to be in it and Tassie has a population of around 450,000.

Many excellent players from Tasmania play in the AFL though, Matt Richardson at Richmond and the Febey brothers at Melbourne.

Legends of the game, Ian Stewart, Peter Hudson, Darrell Baldock are all from Tassie. As was one Maxwell Henry Norman Walker, who player for Melbourne until he made the Aussie Test Cricket Team and was known as Tangles short for Tanglefoot because he bowled off the wrong foot.

Tassie do have a team in the VFL the second ranked comp these days which was formerly known as the VFA

[legend]

grumble - speaking of cricket, do you still have a david boon day?

[Grumble]

Nope but he is a well respected man and works for the Tasmanian Cricket Association as well as being an Australian selector.

I know David Boon personally. He shared a flat with my brother Peter for a time and was best man at his wedding. His wife Pip (short for Phillipa) is great friends with Peters wife Margaret.

Also I umpired in the NTCA and seen first hand D Boon destroying the bowling. I have even given him out LBW LOL.

He is a good bloke and has never had a big head. (though reports from the shower room indicate that the lower head is of impressive dimensions)

[john39]

New member from Melbourne, Victoria.

[Sharni]

G'day john39...

Welcome to Pixies :)

[legend]

G'day and Welcom to Pixies john39, from a fellow aussie :)

[Grumble]

I will third that, Gday from Tassie and welcome to Pixies John39

[Sharni]

Just bringing this thread back to see if any other Aussies are around :)

[quBsee]

I'm from Geelong, Melbourne, Australia..
1st post :)

[legend]

welcome to Pixies quBsee :)

i'm in north Qld myself

[Nikki]

OMG....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i missed this...!!!!!!!!!!!
Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate's
Nikki from Western Australia..........
saying..........hi ya mate!!!!!!

[erotic51]

Hi gang, does living ijn OZ for 30 years (but not anymore) qualify? Lived in Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide, Peth, Brisbaine, and DARWIN (greatest place in OZ). :)

[syd1946]

Goodday Sharniqua Had a few laughs reading the replys from Melboure syd1946

[Casperr]

Ahh! I missed this thread!
I'm from Melbourne too!

CasperTG

[legend]

welcome to Pixies syd1946 :)

[PantyFanatic]

Curious about Aussies!
They are a curious lot!:rolleyes:

[Uncle Silky]

bah... buncha boomerang-chuckin, koala-huggin, eucalyptus-chewin, Yahoo Serious-worshippin Foster's-drinkers.

[Sharni]

bah... buncha boomerang-chuckin, koala-huggin, eucalyptus-chewin, Yahoo Serious-worshippin Foster's-drinkers.
Yep....and proud of it!!! :D

[Uncle Silky]

*wink*

[Sharni]

*BUMP*

[Catch22]

bump what?

I am by the bay in Brisbane. Have koala bear in trees in backyard. I turn up in Texas in the US from time to time. No koala bears there!

[Sharni]

Bump the thread back up near the top :D

Great to meet you

[Catch22]

Good. I would never have noticed it otherwise.

[BigBear57]

I was introduced to Pixie's by an Aussie from just south of Melbourne and have several chat friends scattered about. One day I hope to visit. No doubt that will be the highlight of my travels ever.

[PantyFanatic]

PERFECT timming! :D

I thought I was starting to get the hang of that down under utter, but had one run over me the other day here that had me so befuddled, I didn’t know what to ask. lmao

I’ll be back at ya as soon as I find the dingo jargon.;)


(*now where would I leave something I can’t read?* :confused: )

[Catch22]

We are easy to understand in a complex sort of way.

[White Noise]

Victoria right here

[Grumble]

Geez, an Aussie just south of Melbourne, mmmmmmmm That would describe me but I didn't introduce BigBear57 though I am happy to see his posts at pixies. I reckon you are a good bloke mate.

Saw a post from Nikki and I wonder how she is. Married to Legend by now I expect. I hope she is well and happy but I do miss her emails.

[Oldfart]

GG

We all miss Nikki and Legend and wish them a bloody good 2004.

To all our Northern neighbours,

Don't try and understand us, just love us for who we are.

[Gonzo]

ahh so many aussies!!!

mexican here (melbournian!!!) :halo:

[Grumble]

good to see you mate, welcome

[Sharni]

Welcome Gonzo

Ex mexican here.....now a Banana Bender :D

[longsword]

Another launceston tasmania resident here .... What are the odds??

God bless Australia, WE ARE ONE

We are the people of a free nation of blokes, sheilas and the occasional wanker. We come from many lands (although a few too many of us come from New Zealand), and although we live in the best country in the world, we reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like.We are One Nation but divided into many States.

First, there's Victoria, named after a queen who didn't believe in lesbians. Victoria is the realm of Mossimo turtlenecks, cafe latte, grand final day, and big horse races. Its capital is Melbourne, whose chief marketing pitch is that "it's liveable". At least that's what they think.
The rest of us think it is too bloody cold and wet.

Next, there's NSW, the realm of pastel shorts, macchiato with sugar, thin books read quickly and millions of dancing queens. Its capital Sydney has more queens than any other city in the world and is proud of it. Its mascots are Bondi lifesavers who pull their Speedos up their cracks to keep the left and right sides of their brains separate.

Down south we have Tasmania, a State based on the notion that the family that bonks together stays together. In Tassie, everyone gets an extra chromosome at conception. Maps of the State bring smiles to the sternest faces. It holds the world record for a single mass shooting, which
the Yanks can't seem to beat no matter how often they try.

South Australia is the province of half-decent reds, a festival of foreigners and bizarre axe murders. SA is the state of innovation. Where else can you so effectively reuse country bank vaults and barrels as in Snowtown, just out of Adelaide (also named after a queen). They had the Grand Prix, but lost it when the views of Adelaide sent the Formula One drivers to sleep at the wheel.

Western Australia is too far from anywhere to be relevant. Its main claim to fame is that it doesn't have daylight saving because if it did,all the men would get erections on the bus on the way to work. WA was the last state to stop importing convicts and many of them still work there in the government and business.

The Northern Territory is the red heart of our land. Outback plains, sheep stations the size of Europe, kangaroos, Jackaroos, emus, Uluru, and dusty kids with big smiles. It also has the highest consumption of beer anywhere on the planet and its creek beds have the highest aluminium content of anywhere too. Although the Territory is the centrepiece of our national culture, few of us live there and the rest prefer to flyover it on our way to Bali.

And there's Queensland. While any mention of God seems silly in a document defining a nation of half arsed sceptics, it is worth noting that
God probably made Queensland, as it's beautiful one day and perfect the
next. Why he filled it with dickheads remains a mystery.

Oh yes and there's Canberra. The less said the better.

We, the citizens of Oz, are united by Highways, whose treacherous twists
and turns kill more of us each year than murderers. We are united in our
>ust for international recognition, so desperate for praise we leap in joy
when a rag tag gaggle of corrupt IOC officials tells us Sydney is better
than Beijing. We are united by a democracy so flawed that a political party albeit a redneck gun toting one, can get a million votes and still not win one seat in Federal Parliament. Not that we're whingeing, we leave that to our Pommy immigrants.

We want to make "no worries mate" our national phrase, "she'll be right mate" our national attitude and "Waltzing Matilda" our national anthem (so what if it's about a sheep-stealing crim who commits suicide).

We love sport so much our newsreaders can read the death toll from a
sailing race and still tell us who's winning. And we're the best in the world at all the sports that count, like cricket, netball, rugby league and union, AFL, roo shooting, two up and horse racing. We also have the biggest rock, the tastiest pies, and the worst dressed Olympians in the known universe.

Only in Australia can a pizza delivery get to your house faster than an
ambulance. Only in Australia do we have bank doors wide open, no security guards, or cameras but chain the pens to the desk.

Stand proud Aussies - we shoot, we root, we vote. We are girt by sea and pissed by lunchtime. Even though we might seem a racist, closed minded,sports obsessed little people, at least we feel better for it.

I am, you are, we are Australian!

P.S We also shoot and eat the two animals that are on our National Crest!!!! No other country has this distinction!

[Sharni]

Welcome longsword

[longsword]

Been reading the forums for a while and figured I should get off my ass and post something. Great to see so many friendly people here....

[Grumble]

Geez G'day mate fancy having someone else from Lonnie at pixies :D

Welcome to pixies the best place in the world other than Tassie

[longsword]

Yep small small world

[Catch22]

No cheek about the deep north thanks. *Shows red neck*

[Sharni]

Any more wanna say G'day? :D

[Fangtasia]

*BUMP*

Helloooooooo any more Aussies out there????

[moose]

i am from a small town called romsey, 100km north of melbourne and i am supprised by the amount of aussies on this great site..........and for the afl fans on pixies Go Tigers!

[Fangtasia]

Hiya moose...Welcome!

and that'd be Go Bombers!! :D:D

[Sugarsprinkles]

I thought this would be the appropriate thread to post this on.......if not please move it to a more appropriate spot.

I received this from one of my Yahoo groups and I thought it would be appreciated by our Aussie members.........at least I hope so.

The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not.. oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is.. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

[BIBI]

I've seen that before SS but it still is a great laugh.. TY.

[dicksbro]

SS, those are terrific. ROTFLMAO!!!!!

:D :grin: :D :grin: :D

[Aussie007]

howdy gang, been a reader for ages and thought i might as well do a post
great seeing so many Aussie here

[bare4you]

Love the Q&A....Funny thing is - those are real questions!

[PantyFanatic]

Love the Q&A....Funny thing is - those are real questions!
..... and the real answers you'd get. :grin:

[Fangtasia]

howdy gang, been a reader for ages and thought i might as well do a post
great seeing so many Aussie here
G'day hun....great to see you posting

[Steph]

The Aussie polar bears must love it! (http://www.cbc.ca/story/world/national/2005/08/10/australia-snow050810.html)

[moose]

I was'nt worried at all about the snow unto i seen 3 confused sheep drive past, so i just went a lied in a paddock eating grass - and it was bloody cold