Nursery Rhymes

[dicksbro]

This might be fun ... take an ol' nursery rhyme and alter it a bit to give it a "Pixie" flavor. Can be short or long ... for example:

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
When Jack came down
He had a frown,
Cuz' Jill left with Mad Hatter. :yikes:


or


Here comes Peter Cottontail,
Humping pretty Paulie's tail,
Pumping very quickly and quite fast.

Now he's getting all flushed red,
I think he's 'bout to soak the bed,
Just ain't no way that bunny's gonna' last.

Little Paulie's on the edge,
Moaning there right on the bed,
I think she's drained our Peter's poor ol' mast.

Now the story's almost done,
They're cleaning up the gooey cum,
I suspect, tho', this time will not be their last.

[gekkogecko]

Oh, the entire text of PD Eastman's kids' book, "Snow" is hilarious if you merely replace the word "snow" witht he word "sex".

A couple examples:
"Sex is good for me and you. Men and women. Horses, too."

"Sex is good. It lets you slide. it lets you give your dog a ride."

[BIBI]

Old Mother Hubbard,

went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone.

When she bent over Rover took over.

And gave her a bone of his own.



""stolen" by me lol :o

[Oldfart]

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.
Jill came down with half a crown
and now she has a daughter.

[Oldfart]

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the Kings horsemen
And all the King's men
Said "Fuck it" and had omelette.

[dicksbro]

Baa baa black sheep, how long is your polel?
Long enough, long enough to in fit her hole.
Once in my mistress, once in the dame,
And once in that sexy ewe who lives
Down the lane.

[BIBI]

Roses are red that much is true,
But violets are purple,
Not fucking blue.





Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jump over the candlestick
If Jack's so nimble
and Jack's so quick
Why is he in the hospital with a lil burnt dick

[dicksbro]

Itsy Bitsy spider climbing up her leg,
Down came some moisture, he looked up for the keg,
Then came the creamy stuff and covered all of him
Now he's wrapped in Kleenex and in the garbage bin..

[BIBI]

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could have no lean
Oral sex was not to be and so
they both got mean.... :argue:

[dicksbro]

Hey, diddle diddle, I had to go piddle,
And I really had to do it quite soon,
But my ornery wife tickled my sides,
And I thought I'd flood the whole room.

[jseal]

Stroke her, stroke her, get her high,
Arch her back up to the sky.
When she cums, then hold her tight,
Warm each other through the night.

[dicksbro]

Jack be horny
Jack be firm
Jack humped Jill
Behind the berm.

[dicksbro]

Pat a boob, pat a boob, horny man,
Squeeze it and massage it fast as you can;
Suck it and lick it and tease it you see,
And it'll be warmed up for your baby ... ME. :D

[dicksbro]

Mary Mary was with Harry,
Amazed how his package grew ...
She held it just a little bit
And licked it to savor it's dew.

[dicksbro]

Peter's Peter was called his Dick ..
His wife, though, called it Joe.
That sounded strange .. her simple pet name
Till he found that Joe was her beau.

:yikes:

[dicksbro]

Slippery, lickery cock,
When stroked it shoots out a lot,
But when she sucks and kisses,
It really gets down to business,
And floods the whole parking lot.

[dicksbro]

Hey diddle, diddle,
He had to go piddle,
His gal stripped down in their room.
When he came back and saw her,
He dove into her cellar,
And filled her and made her swoon.

[kleclere]

A cock in the air
And a pussy on the bed.
Said the pussy " I have no hair,
And you surely have a great head.
Though you maybe be in error,
fuck me it said.

[dicksbro]

Little Jack's boner,
Stood in the corner,
While Suzie was there chewing gum ...
She slid up and down,
Made a sweet moaning sound,
And squeezed him when he started to cum.

[kleclere]

Hickory dickory dock
Some bitch was sucking my cock
The clock struck two
I dumped my goo
and dumped the bitch on the next block.

[dicksbro]

THE FARMER'S IN RACHEL

The farmer’s in Rachel
The farmer’s in Rachel
Going slow in her derriere-o
The farmer’s in Rachel.

His cock slides in real nice
His cock slides in real nice
Going slow in her derriere-o
His cock slides in real nice.

His body’s getting tense
His body’s getting tense
Going slow in her derriere-o
His body’s getting tense.

It suddenly shoots its load
It suddenly shoots its load
Going slow in her derriere-o
It suddenly shoots its load

It floods her with his cum
It floods her with his cum
Going slow in her derriere-o
It floods her with his cum.

Boy was that sure fun
Boy was that sure fun
Going slow in her derriere-o
Boy was that sure fun.

Now he slips softly out
Now he slips softly out
From going slow in her derriere-o
Now he slips softly out.

[kleclere]

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cubbard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over,
Rover took over
And the bitch got a bone of her own!

[dicksbro]

I love a little pussy

I love a little pussy,
It’s skin is oh so warm,
And if I slip inside it,
She'll share with me her charms.

So I'll lay there between her legs,
And will not drive her soon away,
Cuz' her pussy and I will linger,
And very gently play.

[kleclere]

Little bow peep fucked a sheep
blew a horse, licked his feet,
she ate his ass so very nice
tongued his balls not once but twice

[dicksbro]

Little Boy Blue, she'll blow your horn,
You know little Suzie, she'll keep it all warm.
So take our your cock and give her a peek
She'll empty it's cum by sucking your meat.

[kleclere]

Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore
Humpty Dumpty fucked her some more
All the kings horses n all the kings men
Bent the bitch over and fucked her again

[dicksbro]

Wee Winkies Willie

Wee Winkie’s Willie toured the town,
Up town and down town in his night-gown,
Tapping at the window, peeking thru the blinds,
At Suzie undressing and her sweet behind.

"Hey, Winkie’s Willie, why don’t you come in?
I’ve slipped off my panties, so you can get in!
My legs are spread wide and my bum is held high,
You can see my breasts heaving and hear my soft sighs.”

“Take that hard willie, that glistens so bright,
Pulsing and stretching, it’s a true girls delight!,
Stick it in and move it, that rigid ol’ cock,
Make me groan and push, my cherry defrock!”

"Hey, Winkie’s Willie, you I can feel,
Wriggling and pushing like a horny ol’ eel.
Don’t stop, Winkie’s Willie, until at last you share some,
Of that creamy lush lotion, that fertile white cum.”

“Now in my tummy, it’ll slosh round a bit,
Seeking an egg … you can fertilize it!
Then in my belly, a baby will be,
Willie’s own special gift to lil’ ol’ me.”

[kleclere]

Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet
With her legs open wide
Down came a spider
Look right inside her
and said damn that pussy's wide.

[dicksbro]

Mary Screwed Her Hubby Sam

Mary screwed her hubby Sam with a dildo white as snow,
She liked to lube his clean shaved ass where soon the shaft would go.
Of course her hubby went along, he really didn’t mind,
In fact he almost came too fast when she messed with his behind.

So first thing in the morning, and, last thing then at night,
He’d assume the position … it was quite a sexy sight,
She’d get out the KY-Gel and rub it all around,
She knew he loved her doing this from his soft and gentle sounds.

His cock would become rigid, and point down to the floor,
She’d start her dildo's entry, he’d moan, “Please give me more.”
So she'd push it in and pull it out and watch how it would slide,
And with one hand she’d reach around, and stroke his now hard pride.

Then with a cry, he’d soon let go,
His milky cum would splatter so.
Mary would shout, “If but I could,
In you I would plant Red Riding Hood.”

Then they'd collapse in a tangle, to the floor they would fall,
Their energy spent , they were exhausted and all.
As she lay there on hubby, she was still on top,
He would whisper softly to her, “I sure love you … a lot!”

[kleclere]

Roses are red.
Nuts are round.
Skirts go up.
Panties go down.
Belly to belly.
Skin to skin.
When it's stiff,
stick it in.

[dicksbro]

Betty Betty Moist and Ready

Betty, Betty, moist and ready,
Look how you made him grow.
When you see his pre-cum you say, “Oh yum,”
it looks like you’re ready to sow”

[kleclere]

There once was a girl by the name of Kim
She had a Guy by the name of Jim
Big fat balls and a hairy long dick
Stuck it down her throat and made her sick
She gagged and puked and gagged some more
Yes sir e she is a whore
Big fat tits and a hairy cunt to boot
If you don't watch it she will set on your snoot
Suck your head right up her twat
Her ass is as big as a parking lot
She died at the age of 26
Because she like to suck those dicks.

[dicksbro]

Old Mother Hubbard,
Looked at his scabbard …
And dreamed of sucking his bone.
Unzipping his pants
She started to dance,
It jumped out, all moist and it shone!

[kleclere]

Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed
Little Bo Peep was giving him head
As he came, she started to weep
She could tell by the taste he'd been shagging her sheep.

[dicksbro]

Sing a song of sixpence where Betty stripped and lay,
Letting four and twenty hung dudes hump her in the hay.
When the guys were done, then, Betty began to sing,
“Bring me another twenty, and I’ll make their dongs go ding.”
The new guys lined up horny, and gave her the money, too,
A sight like this you’ve never seen, Betty bathed in goo.
When they were done, they were quite pooped,
Their cocks, they kind of drooped.
But Betty never lost her smile and seemed so full of joy,
She’d made enough to take a trip, thanks to all her boys.

[kleclere]

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie
Jerked off in his girl friends eye
When her eye was dry and shut
Georgie fucked that one-eyed slut.

[dicksbro]

Hot soft bum! Hot soft bum!
One a penny two a penny - Hot soft bum
Come up behind your lady and pump in her some cum
One a penny two a penny - Hot soft bum

[kleclere]

Little Jack Horner

Sat in a corner

Rubbing Miss Susie’s thigh

When he felt a fur patch

And stuck his thumb up her snatch

He found that Miss Susie was dry.

[dicksbro]

Tinkle, tinkle little cock,
I've got to leave ... please, won't you stop?
I came early ... and I've stayed late,
I just had to piss ... wasn't on a date.
So, please, I ask, let's piss no more,
I've gone so long it might get sore.
At last your ending, thanks a bunch,
I started early and it's almost lunch.
I must admit ... I am glad it was you,
I would really hate it if it was a Number Two. :yikes:

[kleclere]

Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
But Jill prefers,
The candlestick.

[dicksbro]

The old king’s pole was a very long pole,
and it stood up straight like a tree,
It would get wet and shiny if rubbed up and down,
especially by a pretty young she.
And every young she was anxious for he,
cuz’ his pole felt delightful you see,
And while he thrust in and out, she'd scream and she'd shout,
"Oh, kingy ... you're filling up me!"

[kleclere]

Mary had a little skirt it was slit right up the side,
and every time that mary sat, you could see her thigh.
Mary had another skirt it was slit right up the front and everytime that mary sat.. you could see her cunt.

[dicksbro]

First Miss Piggy cleaned her socket,
Second Miss Piggy lubed his bone
Third Miss Piggy gave him an erection
Fourth she sucked it til it shone
Finally Miss Piggy fucked him proper and ...
His cock squirted cum til twas gone.

[kleclere]

There was a young parson named Binns,
Who would speak of women and things.
But his secret desire was a boy in the choir,
With a bottom like jelly on pins.

[dicksbro]

Three fine guys, three fine guys,
See how they cum, see how they cum,
They all came after the farmer's wife,
She sucked on their cocks
At least once or twice,
Have you ever seen in all of your life,
Those three fine guys.

[kleclere]

Mary Mary Quite Contrary
How does your belly grow
Ask Tom Tucker
That Little Fucker
He did me four times in a row!!!!

[dicksbro]

Little Jack Horner lay in the corner
Eating his sweetie's creampie.
She sat on his face dripping his cum,
And said, "Eat it all or I'll cry."

[kleclere]

Roll, roll, roll your cunt
Gently down my prick.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Then you'll suck my dick.

[dicksbro]

Little Red Robin saw this handsome young guy,
And her hard nipples drove him to sigh.
He reached for his cock, pulled it out from his pants,
It stood there hard and it danced ...
His excitement took over and he asked her with pride,
"Red Robin, please, please be my bride,"
Her pussy, all wet, answered loudly you see,
"Let's elope so I can have it in me!"

[kleclere]

Abraham Lincoln was a good old man.
He hopped out the window with his Dick in hand.
He said, "Excuse me ladies,
just doing my duty
so why not pull down your pants
and give me some booty."

[dicksbro]

The North wind doth blow and so does Flo,
But hers is more fun don't you see,
He feels her below sucking there on his pole
And that's how it really should be.

[kleclere]

Little Jack Horner

Sat in a corner

Rubbing Miss Susie’s thigh

When he felt a fur patch

And stuck his thumb up her snatch

He found that Miss Susie was dry.

[dicksbro]

Pat a butt, pat a butt, shake it mamm,
Show me your pussy as fast as you can;
Stroke me and grab me and spread your legs wide,
Then stick me in your oven until I have sighed.

[kleclere]

Jack Spratt could eat no fat,
His wife could eat no lean.
So Jack ignored her flabby tits,
And licked her asshole clean!

[dicksbro]

Peter’s peter pumped his sister,
Tried to hold back but came within her!
When he finished his peter softened,
So she sucked it off until it blossomed.

[kleclere]

Roses are useless,
Violets are banal.
Let's skip the head
And get right to the anal.

[dicksbro]

One, two … fill her with goo,
Three, four … til it drips on the floor,
Five, six … straight from his prick,
Seven, eight … his cock is still straight,
Nine, ten … Stick it back in!
Eleven, twelve … He's cumming like hell
Thirteen, fourteen … there in the seam
Fifteen, sixteen … of his beautiful queen!
Seventeen, eighteen … She said it's a dream.
Nineteen, twenty … right there in her cuny.

[kleclere]

They all say she ain't no good
And I don't give a shit
Maybe she's a loser
But she's got some tits!

[dicksbro]

See a dong of great length poking through his fly,
Four and twenty damsels giving him the eye.
When his fly was open, they reached to touch him some,
To watch it get read hard and long and then spurt out its cum.
They stroked it first real slowly, and then they did it fast,
There wasn’t any question, he surely wouldn’t last.
Their patience was rewarded, soon he came and came,
And when it finally ended, It just didn’t look the same.
It’s length went down and girth grew less, almost sad to see,
But with the lust in the girls eyes, big again it soon will be.

[kleclere]

Jack and jill went up the hill
to fetch a roll of cheese
jack came down with a smile on his face
and his trousers down to his knees.

[dicksbro]

Baa, baa you creep, haven’t you a soul,
You stick it in and pull it out, the holes you often sow.
Once with your mistress, and twice with Aunt Mame,
And several times that twink's behind whose legs are now quite lame.

[kleclere]

Little Bow Peep had a sheep
that she kept in her back yard.
When she would pull down her panties, and show him her fanny,
his little wooly ding dong would get hard!

[dicksbro]

Mary, Mary … we shall not marry,
But we can practice how to sow.
Pussy, bottom and down the hatch,
Can be filled when my cock does blow.

[kleclere]

Peter, peter, pumpkin eater,
Had a wife,
Liked to eat her,
Smacked his dick twice around her head,
Fucked her ass,
Then went to bed.

[dicksbro]

Goosey, goosey rammed it,
Straight into her puss,
In the bed and on the floor,
That really made it gush.

Then she said please let me see you,
Strip down until you’re bare,
Then lay back and lift those legs boy,
And I’ll stick the dildo there.

[kleclere]

Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet
With her legs open wide
Down came a spider
Looked right inside her
and said damn that pussy's wide.

[dicksbro]

Straight cock, straight cock,
Will you play with mine?
You can stroke my rigid shaft,
Until pre-cum makes it shine.
Then sit down on a cushion
And fill my fondest dream,
Feed upon me, O my love,
And gobble down my cream.

[kleclere]

Down by the old model T
Was were she first showed it to me.
It was hairy and black
She called it her crack
But it looked like a manhole to me!

So I took out my pole
And stuck it right down in her hole.
I thought I was dreamin'
When I started creamin'
Down by the old model T!

[dicksbro]

Come to the window,
Nude, if you would,
I’m outside in the lawn chair,
Stroking my wood.

There are two pretty boobs there,
That play hide-and-seek,
With your two dainty hands,
Across them they sweep.

There’s also two legs,
Raised up in the air,
And I see the great treasure,
Between them laid bare.

[kleclere]

As I was going up Pippen Hill,
Pippen Hill was dirty.
There I met a pretty miss
And she was very flirty

As I was going down Pippen Hill,
I left the girl so flirty
Pippen Hill was quite clean
But the girl was very dirty

[dicksbro]

Hush pretty baby, don’t you sigh,
While I’m kneeling, down by your thigh.

You could if you want, start to sing,
As I rub your skin with my moist wet thing.

And when my tool gets slick as glass,
You could turn over and show me your ass.

I'd then have to hurry, just a little bit,
And slip it in, while it’s good and slick,

If I didn't hurry it might soon blow,
And shower your skin with creamy white snow.

And if I did that, you'd have to face me again,
And my sticky ol’ cock suck it right in.

Clean-up required and, if you please,
I'll start kissing your lips, licking down to your knees.

Then give me some time to recuperate,
And feed me your pussy since I haven’t ate.

[dicksbro]

"I cannot go to school today,
Said little Peggy LaMor.
“My pussy is tingling and ready for humping,
And Johnny is there at the door."

[dicksbro]

AND SHE SAID ….

Cum on my fingers,
Cum on my tongue,
Cum on my bottom
Cum on my tum.

Lots of the stuff
Just everywhere,
Filling my pussy,
Coating my hair.

What will I do
With all this white stuff.
Maybe eat it for dinner,
If there's enough.

[dicksbro]

THE MOON

The moon is watching two nude lovers,
Humping on the grass,
While barren trees stand waiting
To hear them scream, "At last!"

[dicksbro]

HUN's INSTRUCTIONS

Slip off your shorts, dear,
And take off your top.
I want you naked,
Not even your socks.

Let me make you all hard
So I can suck on your cock,
Let it happen when ready,
I hope it's a lot.

[dicksbro]

I want to love you, with all my might,
And fill your pussy with my need.
Then I'll move down, and use my tongue,
To clean you of my seed.

[dicksbro]

Hey, Diddle, Diddle,
I have to go piddle,
Or I'd piddle a puddle I fear.

Now, Diddle, Diddle,
I'm done going piddle,
So I can play with my fiddle so dear.

But, say Diddle, Diddle,
If you like my ol' fiddle,
You can suck it a little right here.

And Diddle, Diddle,
From right in the middle,
A white creamy treat will appear.