Opinions of pixies

[kathy1]

I just did the game on booger's thread, "jailbait" (and ty boog, dat was fun)... anyway, that game got me to thinkin'.....is it ok for underage girls to dress really really sexy and revealing? What's the thoughts of the group?

[Catch22]

Where I live young girls where very short clingy dresses and tops that show their guts. They look rather silly if you ask me. Plus, they are always pulling the dress down. Which means they are not cosy in the bloody things to start with!

[Oldfart]

We know about mutton dressed as lamb, but this is ridiculous.

Can't the fair trading people do anything about this?

This product isn't fit for sale, and should be withdrawn from the marketplace.

[wyndhy]

in a way, i see it as a lack of respect and it's definately a lot of trying to mimic what they see gets the attention on tv. it's not, imo, an expression of individuality or an exploration of sexuality. even the boys fashions are ridiculous in the extreme.
anyway...no young girls dressed like rave attendees and no boys woth boxers hanging out and baseball caps at the dinner table...not in my house :D (i hope :grin: )

[BIBI]

I just thank the lord that the worst thing I had to contend with when my daughter was a teen were Motely Crue and other band shirts....the big hair and too much makeup.

Too many bellies that are being paraded around these days really shouldn't see the light of day.

LOL and Old Navy is trying to bring back Bermuda shorts!

[osuche]

I hate the thought that young girls grow up so quickly....if I could stop it, I surely would. I think to some extent it depends on the girl, and WHY she is doing it. Peer pressure is a very powerful thing --especially for young girls. But I wish she could find a way to express herself in a more constructive manner.

:D

[asp]

I'm not complainin'.

[Cheyanne]

The rule in our house is if you lift your arms up above your head and your shirt exposes your belly, you can't wear it. If you raise your arms out at your sides and I can see your bra under your armpit, you can't wear it. If your jeans are cut so low that when you bend over or crouch down and the crack of your ass or your underwear shows then you can't wear it. To me the rule is quite simple, to my daughter (who thinks I live in the dark ages) it is limiting her ability to express herself. I tell her tough and get over it.. lol

Now, when she tried clothes on and comes out to show me she immediately raises her hands above her head and/or squats down for inspection. When I say NO.. she understands even though she doesn't like it.

[BIGbad]

.....is it ok for underage girls to dress really really sexy and revealing? What's the thoughts of the group?


As a father HELL NO! :hair: I ain't down wit it.













But as long as she is 18 years old, I am all for the eye-candy (http://www.forwardedge.com/8879big.jpg)! :p

Its just the dog in me baby

[wyndhy]

Now, when she tried clothes on and comes out to show me she immediately raises her hands above her head and/or squats down for inspection. When I say NO.. she understands even though she doesn't like it.
/me happens to be sittting it a chair near the dressing room door and wonders if the stange dance that young girl is doing is a new craze or if she's just spent too much time watching pilates videos
:D

[wyndhy]

bigbad!!! :spank: :spank: :p

[Loulabelle]

Fussy and I looked at the 'jail bait' quiz in amusement, since every girl featured there was over the age of consent for our country.

I understand those people whose point of view is that girls shouldn't be going out of their way to look sexy, but the truth is that young girls are sexy: they often have the fittest bodies, the smoothest skin and have that freshness of youth which makes them very attractive to men, and they'd still be objects of lust, even if they never stepped out of school uniform.

It's very easy to blame fashion, the media, pop stars etc for the things that make us feel uncomfortable, and I'm not saying that parents should have no say or control over the way girls dress, but I do think that people need to accept that trying to 'blame' a 17 year old's sexiness on her clothes is futile. She'd probably still be sexy in a potato sack.

Girls at that age want to be sexy, but they only want to appeal to 16 and 17 year old boys. As a society, if we forced girls into wearing 'non-sexy' clothes, it would effectively remove the responsibility for men to be careful about who they lusted after. And then what? A girl who 'breaks the rules' in terms of clothing has no legal protection against rape? "Well, she was wearing a tube top, so how was HE to know she was only 15?" Hopefully I never see that in my lifetime.

[BIBI]

Well Lou I am of the opinion that most young girls haven't quite mastered a sexy look. The girls I see tend to be more along the lines of cheap and trashy looking and they are no way near the ages of 16 or 17. Kids are led by the nose by what they see in the media and what their singer of the month is wearing and therefore there is alot of influence from that factor. There always has been and always will.

I see 14 to 16 year olds coming into my care with bellies and boobs hanging out and their low rider jeans rolled down even lower than their bum crack. And of course they have the obligatory thong pulled out of the pants for all to see. That is not sexy, it is showing how they feel about themselves.They are looking for attention and acceptance for how they look, not for who they are. They seem to think that is attractive. It makes them get noticed for all the wrong reasons. I am not a prude by any means but I do believe that it is my responsibility to try to teach them to respect themselves as something more than eye candy for males. They should do what they do to please themselves, no one else.....in a perfect world LOL

As far as the rape issue you mention. Rape is an act of violence against someone. People who get raped can be of any age regardless of the clothes they are wearing. Christ babies have been raped, old ladies too.

I don't think there will ever come a time that females will have to dress by a set code but they should have to dress in a manner that exemplifies their beauty and not detract from it for there sure are some poor attempts at looking good out there lol.

Hopefully I am still around in 15 to 20 years. I will come back and see what you think once you have a daughter, that is if you do have one.......:)

[thanatos80]

Hi all. I'm a first time poster, on here. I have to side with Bibi and Cheyanne on this subject, especially with what Bibi said. As a father of a 12yr old daughter, I look at what some of these girls who are 2 or 3 years older than her are wearing, and it scares the hell out of me.

[lizzardbits]

I have a 4 year old daughter, and it just IRKS me when i go shopping for her. There are so many clothing companies that have skimpy little clothes for TODDLERS!!! Shopping for a bathing suit is hard, because i don't want too much skin showing and bikinis are totally out of the question! There are tops that are just a small bit of fabric with a few strings attached and they call it a top OY! and WTF!?! the underware makers make bikini underpants, yes i said BIKINI underpants starting at the size that most little girls start potty training!:yikes:, and i have to be very careful that i don't pick up those instead of regular underpants for her. Not Good! I mean, really, who are these marketed to?!

i like Chey's rule and if the styles are similar when my little one gets older, I think that I will do the same.

:rant: :cents: :box:

[lizzardbits]

Oh, and Welcome to Pixies thanatos80!

[BigBear57]

I'm just so happy my 16 year old is modest about what she wears. I'm lucky I haven't had a big quarrel about the clothes she wears. Oh yeah we had a run in over thongs but that was more of a Dad's roaring. (which she ignored) I think kids should be kids for as long as they can. If they could only see it from our vantagepoint I don't think they'd be in such a hurry to grow up. TO each his own, that's just my nickel's worth.

[cherrypie7788]

Well, I have never dressed in the manner you describe. It's not comfortable, it's not appealing, and it's just not classy at all. Most young girls just want to look like the people they see on the idiot box; it's what is marketed to them as "sexy", even though it really just looks cheap.

I hope that when/if I have kids we don't have this problem either. If we do, I guess "no excessive cleavage, no ass crack, no thong showing" will be my guidelines. Maybe by the time I decide to have a child this stuff will be out of fashion anyway.
*Crosses fingers*

[Lilith]

Having just spent a couple months at a middle school I really was interested by the difference between how the girls were treated based on their style of dress. While the more provacatively dressed girls garnered the most attention (primarily from the opposite sex), often it was in a negative, teasing, taunting, even physical form. The goth type girls seemed to almost garner an equal amount of attention however it seemed to be more gentle in nature, less teasing, more talking. I think it would be good to do a sociological study of the quantity/quality of interactions middle school girls participate in based on their clothing style choices.

[maddy]

I work with a mom of a teenage daughter. The daughter moved from private to public school this year as she's now a freshman. The mom was quite dreadful of losing the school uniform. As she put it to me, she doesn't have much choice but for her to wear some revealing clothing as there isn't much else on the racks in the stores. Now of course her daughter is precisely a size zero which can make some of the choices limiting anyway. Even while attending the private school, on a school trip they were allowed to dress out of uniform but still had guidelines to meet, her daughter could not wear shorts because they couldn't find any in the stores that met the guideline of nothing shorther than her fingertips.

I think my parents were lucky ... the tomboy look was more my thing (I think it was more popular too) - jeans and a tshirt or sweatshirt and I was happy as a lark.

[LixyChick]

I'm reading over this thread (somewhat...I'll go back after I post this, so as not to be swayed one way or another), and pardon me all you momma's out there...but I can't help but think of myself and my girlfriends when we were 12-16ish or so.

I wore belly shirts (we just bought smaller shirts or shrunk our sweaters cause they didn't have a line of them back then) and hip huggers and mini skirts and went braless etc. etc. and my mom didn't really have a problem with it all. But...I knew girls who's parents would ban clothing of this sort and so they would have their friends (me and a few other girls) hold some clothing for them to change into when they got out of the house in "acceptable" garb. They'd change back before going home...sometimes forgetting something and getting grounded for sneaking around looking like a slut (or whatever the parent thought she looked like).

Seems to me, I remember these were the girls who got in the most "trouble" as far as running away...doing bad in school...fighting...sassing their parents...disrepecting their parents...resenting their parents...etc. etc. I mean...these girls were exactly what the parents were trying to get them NOT to be!


I will admit (and most of you already know) I did get pregnant at 14 and carried the baby to term and gave him up for adoption. But, I don't attribute that to my wardrobe expression!!!! I attribute that to my lack of sex education as far as when a girl can and can't get pregnant...and the fear of asking for birth control pills (assuming I needed parental consent) or going into a drug store and asking the person behind the counter for condoms (they never put them in the isles in my day). And I attribute my pregnancy to LOVE. Regardless if anyone believes one can love at such a tender age...I am here to tell you I was IN LOVE and I knew that having sex was the expression of that love that I wanted to do at that time. It was a pure and true accident of uneducation...one I never repeated...that I got pregnant. Matter of fact...there was a boom of unwanted pregnancies in my day...no matter the clothing style...and there still is a boom of unwanted/accidental pregnancies to this day! I think it's due to lack of education and fear of what someone would think if they knew they had an interest in sex. If a parent is clear and educates a young girl on sex...it sticks with them. I had friends in my time who's parents were so open and gave them all the knowledge they needed...and therefore the kids respected the parents teachings and took that knowledge out into the world with them daily.

OK...so they still might have dressed "in fashion". Who hasn't ever been under some form of peer pressure? But...with knowledge on their side, they never got pregnant or disrespected or resented their parents in the long run.

I loved and respected my mother despite the fact that she hadn't loaded me up on sexual knowledge! It never occured to her...or me...that my clothing had anything to do with the unexpected pregnancy. She knew my heart and knew her values were instilled in me and that I was my own person and not some tagged whore of the neighborhood! She knew that accidents happen and that she was partly to blame for not talking to me and giving me the education I needed at my age.

Now...here I go assuming again (cause, as I said, I haven't read the whole thread of replies)...

Is the connotation of this clothing biz...that a girl will be considered a bit of a whore and could/probably will be taken advantage of if she shows some skin? It's a double edged sword here, if that is the gist. Try and remember that most defense attorney's try to argue that point when trying to get their rapist clients off!

If I've missed the point completely...calm down! I'm going back to read it all NOW!

[kathy1]

I'm just asking questions here....What's the limit? What's over the limit? Is there a limit? (And yes, i do realize that each parent sets these)

[kathy1]

Having just spent a couple months at a middle school I really was interested by the difference between how the girls were treated based on their style of dress. While the more provacatively dressed girls garnered the most attention (primarily from the opposite sex), often it was in a negative, teasing, taunting, even physical form. The goth type girls seemed to almost garner an equal amount of attention however it seemed to be more gentle in nature, less teasing, more talking. I think it would be good to do a sociological study of the quantity/quality of interactions middle school girls participate in based on their clothing style choices.

And of all the comments so far, I find this to be the most interesting. It would seem that your observations imply that how they are dressed dictates how they are treated. One wonders if that holds true for adults as well as children.

[LixyChick]

I've read it all now...and I don't think I was too far off base!?

I've some other thoughts now though...in reading some of the brilliant responses from some of our most prolific members!

I've a feeling that the feel of this issue from a parents point of view is...You can't make the pervs stop looking and lusting, so don't let the girls put it on and they won't be noticed. Is this about right?

If so...

I'm in total agreement with what Loulabelle said...about sexy is sexy no matter if it's in a skin baring outfit or a potato sack! There will always be perverted people and we can't change that no matter how hard we try! Ever hear the expression, "undressing them with my eyes"? It's a matter of who we encounter...not what we are wearing.

OK...so you say...but why add to the perversion by revealing more?

To that I say...Style is style. I wore the midriffs and hip huggers to "fit in". I didn't do it to make the pervs come out of the woodwork. If they reared their ugly head, it wasn't my fault as I was trying to be a teen who fit in and didn't get teased and treated badly for not knowing how to be cool. Being a teen is really a tough time in our lives...TRY AND REMEMBER THAT folks of all parentage (those who have and those who will someday have).

I've gotta tell you all this...

Back in my day (oh gawd..I hate that expression), I didn't have the monetary advantage that most of my friends were afforded though allowances and clothing money, etc....so I had to work for what money I did get for my wardrobe. I'd take certain outfits and mix and match so that most people wouldn't notice that I had worn "that" ever before. Ya had to be kinda tricky to pull this off...but I got really good at it...aquiring a top here and a belt there and some shoes another time. It was the hardest part of my youth in trying to fool my peers into thinking I had new and cool clothing each and every time they saw me. Only my very closest friends knew my insider secret. At times, a close friend would give me something her parents had given her money for...a pair of clogs of hers, that I loved sticks, in my mind. My best friend, Ruth, knew how much I loved them and I could never afford anything like them and so she'd let me wear them occasionally and then one day she said. "I'll tell mom I left them on the bus or something...just don't wear them over here and they are yours"! She knew I wouldn't think of this as charity because she knew almost EVERYTHING about me and my life and still she was my best friend.

Why do I tell you all of this? To remind you all of just how hard it is to be a teenager!

I mean...who was the first teen to think of dying his/her hair purple? Why'd they do it? To "revolt" against authority (parents and otherwise) and stake a claim to fame in his own generation! Does that very person still have purple hair to this day? I think not (but can't be positive...lol!). Who was the first teen to go goth? What in the motherfuckinhell was she/he thinking? I want to be different. I'm not going to research "differences through the generations/ages"...I like it and I am doing it!

Now...we all know...in our maturity and infinite wisdom...that most "styles" are repeats of age old "been there, done that"...and that if everyone does it, it doesn't make YOU an individual. But these are teens we are talking about! Impressionable, immature, go with the flow teens! REMEMBER that time? I sure do (pining for those days!!!...lol again)!

I'll admit it...I DO always try and play "the devil's advocate" role. And yes...I am not a parent. But, I am damn sure if I was...the last thing I would want to do with my child is to alienate her...or him for that matter...with clothing issues that connotate that sex is bad and to keep your mind off of it till I say it is ok to think of it!

Instead, I would look um over before they left the house...tell them WOW, you look great...I might go buy something like that tomorrow...and give them their curfew...kiss their face off...and tell them to be so careful and think before they do anything...and then kiss um again and let them go...to think about me in that same outfit!!!

^^^^^^^^^^Gotcha!

Just seeing the forrest fore the trees folks!

Love ya!

[wyndhy]

And of all the comments so far, I find this to be the most interesting. It would seem that your observations imply that how they are dressed dictates how they are treated. One wonders if that holds true for adults as well as children.

i believe it does. my father always told me...when you are wanting to make an impression, it does not matter how you perceive yourself but how others perceive you to be. it's not always justified or fair but there it is.

[LixyChick]

But ladies ^^^^...we are talking about teens here!

I know, from experience, that we've only one chance to make a good first impression. But...um...do teens really think of that? I think everytime they leave the house they feel they are making an impression...first, middle and last...till next time when, something else comes along that they like better!

If our current day resume's had to include pics from our past...most of us here would be in the welfare line!!!! LOL!

[Cheyanne]

I understand what it is like to be a teenager, and I also understand what it is like to experience peer pressure. However, I also understand that there are certain aspects of life that many teens just aren't prepared emotionally and mentally to handle no matter what is perceived by others saying that teens of today are so much more mature then we were yesterday.

I do not allow my daughter to dress a certain way because she will be perceived as a certain type of person by others (no matter if she is NOT). We, as adults, understand that no matter how we believe that people should accept us as we are, that just doesn't happen most of the time. I do this because I KNOW that she isn't at a level of maturity to handle the comments and/or behaviors that a certain type of dress will cause in others. She isn't emotionally ready to understand why men/boys (and some women) would stare at her and make comments. She isn't emotionally ready to understand why certain women would call her a slut and stick their noses up in the air as she walked by. She isn't grounded enough in her "self" to be able to handle the reactions that would come her way.

My daughter and I talk. I prepare her the best I can for the world. I believe that if she has the correct information (without glossing it over), she will be better prepared to face what she will come across in her life.

This isn't JUST about dressing a certain way, or behaving a certain way, this is learning about life and having the ability to HANDLE what is thrown at you.

[Lilith]

No but if how they dress influences how they are treated by their peers or others then it's my job as a parent to make sure they are not mis-treated. While I can't control the actions of others I can control some of the variables that may lead to mis-treatment. Just like I would not permit my child to go somewhere unsafe alone where they could be harmed, I would not permit them to dress in a fashion that may warrant attention that they are not ready or mature enough to handle.

It's moot for me....I have boys. But let me say this, they will never leave the house with their pants around their thighs and their boxers hanging out.

[BIBI]

Well if teenage girls look sexy no matter what they are wearing then covering up some of their bits and pieces isn't going to deflect from their desired effect.

Chey I agree with everything you have said. Your rules were my rules for my daughter and she lived through it all....

[LixyChick]

Chey? I never said teens of today are so much more mature than we were! I don't believe that in the least...to the oppisite...I think they have more to learn at 14 than I ever did. It seems the more children get today...the less mature they have to be...and therefore less responsible for their own actions...than I ever experienced!

I value good parents and their care and loving of a child coming up in this world today! I never said parenting was easy...matter of fact, I've always thought I am in awe of a parent that can get their child past the "peer years"...the years of going with the flow and following the herd.

That's the part that's tougher today than ever! Seems to me kids have been misgiuded by laws meant for abused children, and when in need, in their selfish eyes, want to "use" those laws against a parent who is trying to guide the child...not abuse him/her! Example: "If you ground me for violating curfew, I will call the "authorities" and tell them I am being abused"! It seems like a Twilight Zone episode I just saw lately...the one where the child has control over a whole family who believes that his every whim should be attended to or he will make something bad happen to them. His powers of persuasion keep the adults in line. That's what the up and coming kids of today seem to me! Turns out...in the end...he really just wanted someone to guide him with a stronger hand than his "magical" powers. The power of love and caring!

To be honest...I am scared of some them! And...I think they like it like that too!

I had the deepest respect for my elders when I was young. I don't see it in every child today. I see anger and saddness and fear and pain and a cry for attention...but especially anger...and I can't explain where this is coming from! How have things changed so drastically that the kids of today feel a need to take a gun to school and shoot everyone in sight? If I heard of one incident of it's kind in my youth...I can't remember it!!!! It scares the hell out of me!

I have great friends who's children are required to call me and Mr. Lixy...Mr. "Lixy" and Mrs. "Lixy" (real names obscured) and they are to say excuse me and please and thank you and may I and all the other reasonable polite manners taught to me when I was a child. I was a little uncomfortable with this new revelation for the kids...since the eldest son always knew us by our first or nicknames (called me by my first name...hubby by his nickname that his dad called him by), but our friend was a bit of a rebel in his time and didn't want his children to follow in his footsteps.

So...I guess it boils down to parenting and maybe I am learning something here too. Clothes make the child...as well as the man/woman????

I dunno....I still say if you dress all wrong in the eyes of your peers...and it's not your decision, but that of your parents...you might just get shunned or beat up or something or other! Kids can be so cruel...and if clothing can make a difference..I say Viva La Difference! (<----shitty french, if I do say so myself). I think we all grow out of the intolerable clothing stage! I'm no worse for the wear...<---pardon the pun!

And seriously...for all you parents who are hell bent on making them change their attitude of dress...just tell them you love it and you are going to wear the same style too! That'll put the fear of YIKES into um! If just telling them doesn't work...go and buy a top and/or jeans and don your thongs and make them go out in public with you. Worse case scenario? The neighbors will fence their yard with a cyclone fence! Ahhhhhh...more privacy for you!

[maddy]

working with people who have children in this age range - middle to high school has vastly opened my eyes to how our world is changing ... FAST! I often think of myself not that far removed from my teens at 30, but it amazes me that now as freshmen these CHILDREN are being forced to choose a career by applying to educational academies within the school system to help direct and prepare them for their college applications and degrees. They are volunteering in the public as a part of them academies and learning at a young age how to appear professional and capable is so important. A girl walking into a hospital as part of a biomedical academy is going to be judged based on how she dresses, acts, carries herself, etc. It's in her best interest to impress... to me its sad these CHILDREN are being faced with some rather mature decisions at young ages, but it seems the way of our society. If we can trust them to make decisions about their LIFE at 13, I think we should expect them to act/dress in a fashion that supports those decisions too...

I often shake my head and think how stressful it must be to be a parent or a CHILD in today's world.

[imaginewithme]

Most teen girls don't know how to even carry theirselves to look "sexy". Sure they may have the perfect little body to wear it but shouldn't be acting it. I know it's the style, because every store you go in has little tiny tops. If they have a little class, they might not look so ridiculous.

Hey, but who am I?

[FallenAngel5]

Being only recently out of my teens myself, I don't know how much wisdom I can contribute, but an opinion is something that I do have. A couple weeks ago, a friend and I wandered into a store in the mall that we had shopped at as middle-schoolers and that we thought was "scandalous" back then. Mind you, "back then" is about 7 years. Well, maybe we're getting old, but we really were scandalized by what we saw. The mini-skirts, suggestive t-shirts, and low necklines didn't even hold a candle to the underwear. Now, this is a shirt that middle-schoolers do shop at, and the racks held thong after thong, as well as lingerie! Why is lingerie being marketed to middle-schoolers? I don't know. But my friend had a comment after I held up a thong that barely fit around my hand. "If you're small enough to fit into that, you're definitely not old enough to wear it." And I agree. I feel that "sexy" is being marketed to children in a time when they ought to enjoy being children.

When I was in my teens, I didn't buy alluring things because I knew that my father would never approve. My sister, who's 16, is the same now. If she couldn't wear something in front of my father, she doesn't buy it. Now, I buy skimpy little underwear and things, but when I'm at home, I wash them myself. I think I would be too embarassed if my mother saw the thongs and such. And I think this engrained embarassment is what teenagers are missing now. Music videos, movies, TV... popular media is showing kids that this isn't something that you should be embarassed about. That your underwear is something you should keep to yourself doesn't cross many kid's minds, I don't think.

I do agree that some beauty cannot be covered up. But even the most beautiful can be modest. But I don't think all of the blame falls onto parents. Some, yes, because consumers can control the clothing market that is offered to them. But really, society can be to blame. Popular culture and media shows that sex sells. So to sell themselves to the "popular kids," and to the boys, girls are cashing in on their sex appeal.

:rant:

[asp]

The good thing about freshman is I keep getting older but they stay the same age. :slurp: