Pixies Medical Plan!

[Irish]

>> > > Q. What does HMO stand for?
>> > > A. This is actually a variation of the phrase,
>> > > "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept
>> > > pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who
>> > > discovered that a patient could be made to
>> > > forget about the pain in his foot if he was
>> > > poked hard enough in the eyes.
>> > >
>> > > Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it
>> > > be to choose the doctor I want?
>> > > A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing
>> > > your parents. Your insurer will provide you
>> > > with a book listing all the doctors in the
>> > > plan. These doctors basically fall into two
>> > > categories -- those who are no longer accepting
>> > > new patients, and those who will see you but
>> > > are no longer participating in the plan. But
>> > > don't worry; the remaining doctor who is still
>> > > in the plan and accepting new patients has an
>> > > office just a half-day's drive away, and a
>> > > diploma from a Third World country.
>> > >
>> > > Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-
>> > > certification?
>> > > A. No. Only those you need.
>> > >
>> > > Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting
>> > > conditions?
>> > > A. Certainly, as long as they don't require
>> > > any treatment.
>> > >
>> > > Q. What happens if I want to try alternative
>> > > forms of medicine?
>> > > A. You'll need to find alternative forms of
>> > > payment.
>> > >
>> > > Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs,
>> > > but I need the name brand. I tried the Generic
>> > > Medication, but it gave me a stomach ache.
>> > > What should I do?
>> > > A. Poke yourself in the eye.
>> > >
>> > > Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
>> > > A. You really shouldn't do that.
>> > >
>> > > Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my
>> > > doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can
>> > > a general practitioner really perform a heart
>> > > transplant right in his office?
>> > > A. Hard to say, but considering that all
>> > > you're risking is the $20 co-payment, there's
>> > > no harm in giving him a shot at it.
>> > >
>> > > Q. Will health care be different in the next
>> > > century?
>> > > A. No. But if you call right now, you might get
>> > > an appointment by then.

[GingerV]

Irish my man, brace yourself. I'm going to shock you ;). That is simply the funniest damn thing I've seen all day. Thanks for sharing!

[dicksbro]

LMAO Irish. Sounds like all the stories I've heard about HMO's. The company I retired from had tens of thousands of employees ... and I think they most that ever picked an HMO over the company plan was about 2,000. Tells you something, doesn't it.

(I think most of them left and returned to the standard company coverage.)

[Irish]

Dicksbro---I had a close friend(Dead now-Bad Heart Transplant)
that told me that HMOs have ruined the personal coverage that
Drs. did.They dictated how much time a Dr. could spend with a
patient.They also dictated the hospital time that one was allowed!
Irish

[Sharni]

*L*...the sad part of that is its actually heading that way

[Irish]

Sharni---I have actually had telephone calls from a medical
insurance asking me to ask my Dr. to change prescriptions
to a different brand.My Dr. friend told me that they do that
because they have a financial deal with a certain drug company!
Irish

[PantyFanatic]

DAMN Sharni!:mad: I thought OZ was smart enough to "learn" from watching us clowns over here.:(

[dicksbro]

Me too, PF. There goes my image of OZ. Woe is me. Is nothing sacred?

[LixyChick]

OMG Irish! Vey, very funny hun!

*bums a (unused) Kleenex from dicksbro*

[dicksbro]

Let's see ... two boxes of Kleenex and one clean shirt. Yep. I'm ready. :D :D

[lakritze]

I have never had any problems with my HMO. I have three doctors who are very supportive and very friendly.They are Dr.Howard,Dr.Fine & Dr.Howard.NOOIK NOOIK NOOIK

[Irish]

Lixy---I want to know how you found a Kleenex from Dicksbro
that was unused.Save it.It's a collectors item! Irish
P.S.Did you inspect both sides?

[LixyChick]

Originally posted by Irish
Lixy---I want to know how you found a Kleenex from Dicksbro
that was unused.Save it.It's a collectors item! Irish
P.S.Did you inspect both sides?
Irish!
*inspectng both sides*

Oh damn! And here I thought I just blew right through it! *trying to flick the, now stuck, tissue from my hand*

LOL!

And BTW Irish...........in another thread (can't recall the title at the moment....sorry) I mentioned Tony Stuart.....to which you asked, "Isn't Tony Stuart a race car driver"? I have recently discovered that the mother of the Tony I was referring to spells their name differently.........as in Tony "Stewart"......Cincinnatti Bengal's tight-end (traded from the Philadelphia Eagles in 2001).......(#86 or 89, I think). Sorry for the misunderstanding hun!