Virgins

[SteinFibers]

Ok this may seem strange and a weird place to post this, but is there anyone else out there?

I mean, I decided a long, long time ago that I would save myself for marriage. And have been tested once or twice and pulled through. I am 23 and just so you know, in my culture we have arranged marriages. Right now I am iffy on both. I guess it would help me to hear your take on this topic, from both sides of the coins. All I know is that I seem to be in a weird position. Its seems that it all up to me. In the beginning I was influenced by my parents and culture, now i have no such influences upon me but still can't seem to break through. I am really at a loss what to do.

Be nice.

SteinFibers.

[lakritze]

If you are comfortable with your choices then I say fine.Many people are influenced by their cultures and it can be a burden in modern times.May I ask a couple of questions? Are you male or female? Is there anybody in your life right now that you may be considering?Welcome to Pixies,how did you find us? You do not have to make any choices that you are uncomfortable with.I am sure when it comes time you will make the right one.Good luck and welcome.

[SteinFibers]

I am a male, and there is currently no one in my life right now, that is due to me deciding that it was too risky or too tempting, however, for the arranged marriage part, my parents have had a few offers from family friends to get married with their daughters, and all i would have do to is say YES and by this time next year or earlier I would be married but I am not sure if this is the right thing for me, however, it almost seems like i want to
be with someone now.

And i found pixies in early 2000 following a link to stories. I came here about 3-5 times a week until I read all the stories and the submissions began to dwindle. Then I registered as a member in 2001, made a few posts here and there, and then somehow completely lost touch with pixies until a little while ago. Then by some fluke I rememberd my user name and password and here I am. And I must say wow, this site has grown, i think the record for most users on line was 8. Now there are soo many changes and I find that even Pixie is not in charge of the site anymore, wow.

[Lilith]

SteinFibers~ How do you feel about an arranged marriage? I understand if it is a culturally accepted practice you may not have spent too much time thinking about it. If you prefer to find someone on your own whom you can love and marry then I worry that agreeing to an arranged situation, simply because there is no one currently in your life, may have disasterous repecussions later.
I think if you believe that an arranged marriage will result in as equal a chance of happiness and a satisfying life, as finding a mate on your own then you should do whichever will make you happiest.

[SteinFibers]

Yeah, I totally get what you are saying, me and a lot of my friends have had this conversation before, although I don't agree with them this is their opinion of me.

They believe that after so many years of denying myself of pleasure, hate, anger, that I have attained the ability to emotional detach myself from all things. They say that it would not bother me as much as to be obediant to my family rather than find my own happieness. And although I do agree with this somewhat, what they don't realize is their 'concept' of arranged marriage is slightly out of date. Its not your parents find a girl/boy and that's it your married. There is a 'say' involved and the couple gets to decide whether they marry or not.

But I am totally aware of the fact things can turn out badly if I make a rash choice, but all I have to do is look at my Parents, Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts, all of whom are arranged, and it seems it worked in every situation but 1. Then I look at all my friends who are "Free Love Marriages" and they are under 30 and out of the 5 I am aware of only 2 exist now. But love isn't about statistics I suppose. Wow, I was clear and then I messed myself up again...Sigh, thanks for all your help tho, i really needed to hear an opinion from someone that doens't know me personally...

Thanks.