View Full Version : ~Fortunately/Unfortunately~
Lovediva
02-05-2003, 06:57 PM
That's right.
Another forum game. Stolen. So slap me silly. ;)
In this one, I'll set out a story on a fortunate side.
The next person must give an unfortunate twist to the story, then the next person must give it a fortunate addition. And so on and so forth.
Sound like fun?
Fortunately 2 beautiful ladies walked into a bar.....
Messalina
02-05-2003, 07:27 PM
Unfortunately, neither of them could speak the local language.
Lilith
02-05-2003, 07:36 PM
Fortunately there was a tall, dark, sexy man, who was available to translate
Messalina
02-05-2003, 08:02 PM
Unfortunately, he was a prankster and decided to play a trick on the twosome by misinterpreting their words.
Fortunately the prankster's wife overheard as she approached and she offered her services to help.
Lovediva
02-05-2003, 09:25 PM
Unfortunately her services were to get on her knees and blow.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-05-2003, 11:58 PM
Fortunately, the ladies were so distracted they didn't listen to a word the man said.
Rickersweet
02-06-2003, 12:03 AM
Unfortunately, the two mistook the Blowjob for a local custom, and proceeded to grab the closest two men and blow them!
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 12:11 AM
Fortunately, the men were receptive to two attractive women unzipping their pants.
Rickersweet
02-06-2003, 12:17 AM
Unfortunately, their wives weren't!
Sugarsprinkles
02-06-2003, 01:09 AM
Fortunately, there were two other men who offered their sexual services to the two wives.
Rayna
02-06-2003, 01:13 AM
Unfortuneately, they weren't attractive and had STDs
Fortunately the wives had condoms and paper bags....
Rayna
02-06-2003, 01:41 AM
unforutnately the paperbags had holes and the condom broke
celticangel
02-06-2003, 07:15 AM
fortunately--------there was a doctor closeby who had penicillin and sellotape
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 07:35 AM
Unfortunately, the men were allergic to penicillin, and there wasn't enough tape to go around.
horseman12
02-06-2003, 09:43 AM
Fortunately, the men were found to be free of all infection due to all the alcohol in thier system.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 10:21 AM
Unfortunately, they began to suffer liver damage almost immediately.
horseman12
02-06-2003, 10:56 AM
fortunately, the pigs in the village were willing to give thier livers to save mankind.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 11:08 AM
Unfortunately, only one of the pigs was found to type-match the two men and be able to donate a liver.
dm383
02-06-2003, 11:18 AM
Fortunately, half the liver was enough for each man
Steph
02-06-2003, 11:26 AM
Unfortunately, the two foreign women took the liver to be a local delicacy and ate it.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 11:36 AM
Fortunately, an out-of-town doctor happened to be wandering by and went in to see the commotion. He was skilled in goat-to-human liver transplants.
Unfortunatley, there were no goats to be found, only a barnyard full of pygmy chickens.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 01:09 PM
Fortunately, this doctor knew how to glue together pygmy chicken livers in order to transplant into humans.
horseman12
02-06-2003, 01:13 PM
unfortunately, the villiagers were unable to run those 2 damn liver eating women out of town before they devoured all the pygmy chicken liver ass well
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 01:15 PM
Fortunately, one of the people standing around had a cousin whose brother's wife's niece's nephew-in-law's friend owned some pigs, goats, AND pygmy chickens just over in the next town.
Unfortunately they were currently in an Amish town and nobody had a car to drive to the next town.
dicksbro
02-06-2003, 01:37 PM
Unfortuantely, his licence had been revoked.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 01:37 PM
A bar? In an Amish town? We must grow our Amish differently in Iowa. ;)
Fortunately, at that moment, a helicopter landed.
horseman12
02-06-2003, 01:39 PM
unfortunately, the prop fell off the helicopter, and thier were no mechanics
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 01:41 PM
Fortunately, at that moment, a huge flock of geese, heading south for the winter, landed upon the helicopter and lifted it into the air.
Rayna
02-06-2003, 01:54 PM
unfortuneately he forgot to sanitize all his equpiment
horseman12
02-06-2003, 01:55 PM
unfortunately, they were flying south to mate, and the delay caused the males hormones to rage uncontrollably
Fortunately, it turns out Amish goose poop is a natural sanitizer.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 02:03 PM
(I'm picking one of the two of these lines of thought and running with it.)
Fortunately, all of the female geese had gone through menopause, so the male geese knew they'd have to wait. They continued to carry the helicopter to the next town.
horseman12
02-06-2003, 02:10 PM
unfortunately, half way there thier little penis's were hurting so badly they had to drop the helicopter and masterbate
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 02:13 PM
Fortunately, they dropped the helicopter right in the direction of King Kong, who caught it with his *other* hand.
Unfortunately King Kong got pissed off when he had to pee... so the helicopter was pissed off too. *groan*
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 02:21 PM
Fortunately, even as they were rapidly tumbling downward, the pilot tossed out a football stadium-sized parachute, slowing the descent of the helicopter until it floated to the ground, right in the next village.
Unfortunatley, when the huge parachute blotted out the sun the villagers thought it was the apocalypse their shamans had foretold for centuries, and they began to riot, brandishing everything from pitchforks to Ginsu knives, thus no tin can or tomato was safe.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 02:38 PM
The pigs, goats, and pygmy chickens *were* safe, however, and a boy of about 12 jumped off the helicopter, ducked behind a trotting horse, and hid behind the nearest hut, as the next village was deep in the jungle.
horseman12
02-06-2003, 02:46 PM
unfortunately, with the rioting and looting, thier was noway to get the animals back to the next village
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 02:47 PM
Fortunately, at that instant, a motor boat pulled up to the dock on the Amazon-type river that ran through the village.
dude33
02-06-2003, 03:07 PM
Unfortunalty, when the pull rope on the outboard motor snapped and the motor would not start up again.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 03:10 PM
Fortunately, the boat was drifting in the right direction, and our travelers slowly floated towards the Amish bar downstream.
horseman12
02-06-2003, 03:10 PM
fortunately, the intestines from one of the goats were found to be strong enough to make a new pull rope
horseman12
02-06-2003, 03:12 PM
oops
unfortunately the bar was closed and the villagers were in a coma like state
kleclere
02-06-2003, 04:01 PM
fortunately all the people in a coma had smiles on their faces and didn't notice our travelers.
Fortunately, the two oral crazed ladies from the bar knew a special oral technique for bringing villagers out of comas that they had learned from sherpas while on Spring Break. Apparently the thought the HIMaLAYa's were a happenin' place for meeting guys.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 04:05 PM
Unfortunately, the oral-crazed ladies thought they needed mountain-climbing gear in order to perform the techniques.
Fortunately, someone started yelling 'REEEEECOOOOOLAAAA' and the ladies thought they were already in the mountains and they began performing oral on all residents of the village.
Lilith
02-06-2003, 04:27 PM
unfortuneately, one of them choked on a cough drop:p
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 04:32 PM
Fortunately, a 78-year old grandmother stepped up behind the choking lady, wrapped her pudgy arms around the woman, and squeezed.
Unfortunately she squeezed so hard, her liver popped out.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 04:37 PM
All right--I'm laughing so hard I can hardly respond to this! :D
Fortunately, the doctor had been glueing those livers together pretty quickly, so he threw the woman down on a table and proceeded to start preparations for a liver transplant.
Unfortunately, when he threw her down he forgot that this was the table he had set the liver on and he squashed it with the woman.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 05:00 PM
Fortunately, at that very moment, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, wandered by and offered to help.
dude33
02-06-2003, 05:06 PM
Unfortunately, Dr. Quinn got cancelled by slipping on all the blood and knocking her head against the door post.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 05:09 PM
Fortunately, all the doctors from St. Elsewhere, ER, and Chicago Hope pulled up in a bus right at that moment.
kleclere
02-06-2003, 05:40 PM
Unfortunately a TV terrorist set off a bomb on the bus blowing all the TV doctors up in a white cloud of smoke.
Fortunately, since they were just TV doctors they woundn't have been any help anyway.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 06:10 PM
Unfortunately, it looked like that's all the medical personnel that was available to help.
kleclere
02-06-2003, 07:54 PM
Fortunately the old lady took her teeth out and continued to orally help the other lady revive the town.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 07:55 PM
Unfortunately, her teeth broke in the middle of "assisting" the mayor.
kleclere
02-06-2003, 08:22 PM
Fortunately the mayor wasn't seriously hurt as the teeth broke and recovered whole.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 08:26 PM
Unfortunately, the teeth fell to the ground, where they were immediately covered in dust. They were quickly found, however, when a young girl stepped on them and discovered her big toe smashed between them.
dicksbro
02-06-2003, 08:48 PM
Fortunately, the girls foot had six toes and so the one that was smashed wasn't missed too much.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-06-2003, 09:55 PM
Unfortunately, the toe was tossed into the river, which was full of flesh-eating pirranah, who then began to have a frenzied hunger.
dicksbro
02-07-2003, 06:20 AM
Fortunately, the pirranah were considered an endangered species so the girl got a large reward for her "sacrifice."
horseman12
02-07-2003, 07:15 AM
unfortunately, when she limped in to claim her reward it was paid in pirranah bonds
IAKaraokeGirl
02-07-2003, 09:16 AM
Fortunately, the market had been good to pirranah bonds, and the girl was able to cash them in to buy a snowmobile.
horseman12
02-07-2003, 09:40 AM
unfortunately, she only had enough to buy the frame, thier was not enough to buy the motor.
kleclere
02-07-2003, 10:21 AM
Fortunately she had enough friends willing to help push her for favors she would provide.
horseman12
02-07-2003, 10:24 AM
unfortunately, the favors she performed did not meet thier expectations so they pushed her out onto thin ice.
kleclere
02-07-2003, 10:58 AM
Fortunately her frame floats so she is able to paddle back to shore. Being upset she drops her drawers and pisses on the sidewalk.
horseman12
02-07-2003, 11:13 AM
unfortunately, as quickly as she pisses it freezes and she slips and falls and brakes her butt bone, so she can't sit on her snowmobile frame.
kleclere
02-07-2003, 12:03 PM
Fortunately the town folks place her in the frozen piss so her broken butt bone doesn't swell up.
horseman12
02-07-2003, 12:06 PM
unfortunately, the towns people decide to pee more feeling thier is not enough to keep the swelling down and intomb her in frozen piss
kleclere
02-07-2003, 12:19 PM
Fortunately the young lady is so turned on by being pissed on by the whole town she doesn't feel the pain.
horseman12
02-07-2003, 12:52 PM
unfortunately, she has an orgasm and it freezes, which in turn freezes her sex
IAKaraokeGirl
02-07-2003, 01:20 PM
Fortunately, at that moment, the witch from Hansel and Gretel starts up her oven, which in turn melts the ice.
Unfortunately she is about to put Hansel and Gretel in the oven.
kleclere
02-07-2003, 01:44 PM
Fortunately Gretel distracts the witch by lifting her skirt and Hansel hits her with a frozen pizza.
Unfortunately it's a mini pizza and it doesn't do much good.
Lilith
02-07-2003, 01:52 PM
Fortunately the witch is distracted testing Hansel's bone to see if he is big enough to eat
Unfortunately, his bone is a 'mini' too.
skipthisone
02-07-2003, 02:34 PM
Fortunately, he knew how to use it like a cannon and shot the witch in the eye.
kleclere
02-07-2003, 02:36 PM
Unfortunately it was her bad eye and she grabbed both Hansel and Gretel and the pizza and threw them all into the oven.
horseman12
02-07-2003, 02:49 PM
fortunately, she did not pay her gas bill and had noway to cook them, she also had a bad back so cutting wood was out of the question
IAKaraokeGirl
02-07-2003, 02:59 PM
Unfortunately, she had a large microwave.
kleclere
02-07-2003, 03:28 PM
Fortunately in not paying her gas bill her electricity was also cut off so she was left in the dark.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-07-2003, 03:59 PM
Unfortunately, she had a massive kerosene heater, with a built in frying pan.
Fortunately, when she went to get it, Hansel and Gretel escaped.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-07-2003, 04:07 PM
Unfortunately, they were caught by the Jolly Green Giant, who was picking flowers in the meadow.
dicksbro
02-07-2003, 04:23 PM
Fortunately, he noticed you had them in his grip and set them down gently.
( Who would have guessed the things you learn at Pixies ... like using frozen piss to heal fractured tailbones. )
Scarecrow
02-07-2003, 06:29 PM
Unforunately he sat them in a pile of Dinosaur shit
Fortunately, since dinosaurs have been extinct for so long, it was petrified.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-07-2003, 06:35 PM
Unfortunately, that meant that Hansel and Gretel suffered concussions from being thrown down on the hard surface.
Scarecrow
02-07-2003, 06:45 PM
Fortunately, all the band-aids and first aid cream from the TV doctors bus was still laying around
Lovediva
02-07-2003, 10:48 PM
Unfortunatly Hansel and Gretel had completely dissappeated. It must have been spontanious combustion!
dicksbro
02-08-2003, 07:06 AM
Fortunately, disappeared accidently got spelled with a 'T' leaving one last chance to come to their aid ( :D :D ... sorry ... couldn't resist ).
IAKaraokeGirl
02-08-2003, 08:04 AM
Unfortunately, Hansel and Gretel also could not spell "disappeared."
dicksbro
02-08-2003, 08:45 AM
Fortunately, there was a dictionary laying there on the ground.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-08-2003, 10:01 AM
Unfortunately, Hansel and Gretel were still preschoolers, and could not read.
Scarecrow
02-08-2003, 02:10 PM
Fortunately it was a new Leap Frog dictionary
dicksbro
02-08-2003, 05:01 PM
Unfortuantely, something had eaten the frog's legs preventing them from leaping.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-08-2003, 07:44 PM
Fortunately, Leap Frog in this instance was the electronic dictionary for use by preschoolers.
Scarecrow
02-08-2003, 07:58 PM
Unfortunately, the batters were dead as a doornail
IAKaraokeGirl
02-08-2003, 08:00 PM
Fortunately, there was a plug-in available for the machine.
Scarecrow
02-08-2003, 08:06 PM
Unftunately the storm had knocked out the generators
IAKaraokeGirl
02-08-2003, 08:11 PM
Fortunately, right at that moment, Merriam Webster walked by, dressed like Harry Potter and carrying what appeared to be his magic wand. He pointed the wand at Hansel and Gretel, spouting out the definition of "disappeared."
dicksbro
02-09-2003, 06:38 AM
Unfortunately the wand was long and heavy and knocked both Hansel and Gretel out before they comprehended what he was saying. (Those poor kids sure have it rough.)
kleclere
02-09-2003, 12:45 PM
Fortunately both of them being knocked out. They didn't know what was going on and didn't care.
grotochp
02-09-2003, 01:07 PM
unfortunatley with both being knock out they didnt see the jolly green giant pick corn from his ass to make little corn giblets LOL.
kleclere
02-09-2003, 01:16 PM
fornately for everyone else they did see it either so the world is safe from the knowledge.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-09-2003, 01:30 PM
Unfortunately, the greedy people at the corn-packaging plant didn't care, and packed the corn into cans anyway.
kleclere
02-09-2003, 01:36 PM
Fortunately for everyone in the world it is like hot dogs as long as they don't know how they are made they eat them.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-09-2003, 01:41 PM
Unfortunately, there was a corporate mole in the Amish village, sent to spy upon the corn packing workers because of some rumors they were killing the endangered pirranah and adding fish juice to the corn. This corporate mole decided to go public with the corn contamination story.
kleclere
02-09-2003, 01:55 PM
Fortunately the corn scandle hit the papers saving the endangered pirranah and the Amish village.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-09-2003, 01:56 PM
Unfortunately, there were lawsuits, and the plant had to shut down, forcing non-Amish people out of work.
kleclere
02-09-2003, 02:22 PM
Fortunately a traveling sex show had arrived in town and offered the out of work people jobs with their show.
Scarecrow
02-09-2003, 04:43 PM
Unfortunately, the people were so depressed that they could not perform in the show.:p
IAKaraokeGirl
02-09-2003, 10:57 PM
Man, that's pretty depressed. :P
Fortunately, the druggist in town had just been visited by the drug representative and had an ample supply of Prozac in stock.
Rayna
02-10-2003, 12:42 AM
Unfortunately he did not have enough for everyone
dicksbro
02-10-2003, 03:22 AM
Fortunately, the distribution center was in the very next town.
Rayna
02-10-2003, 03:27 AM
unforunately, the next town is an hour away
dicksbro
02-10-2003, 03:54 AM
Fortunately, there was a little-known shortcut bringing the time down to two minutes ( now that's one heck of a shortcut :D ).
Rayna
02-10-2003, 03:59 AM
sure is lol...
unfortunately during the short cut they got lost in the dark woods with nothing around them
dicksbro
02-10-2003, 04:03 AM
Fortunately, with nothing around them ... the woods filled with missing trees didn't obstruct their view and they could see their destination.
Rayna
02-10-2003, 04:34 AM
lol.
unfortunately, it was a mirage because they were so depressed
Akasha
02-10-2003, 04:52 AM
Fortunatly the mirage turned out to be the apparitaion of the long forgotted sexgoddess and she began to tell them secrets
IAKaraokeGirl
02-10-2003, 07:02 AM
Unfortunately, they weren't *her* secrets, and they had nothing to do with how to get out of the woods.
Lovediva
02-10-2003, 12:16 PM
Fortunately....a tornado appeared and carried them away to that little ghost town a few miles up the road.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-10-2003, 12:32 PM
Unfortunately, it dumped them all in the large pen belonging to the local hog farmer. (Hey, gotta throw something "Iowa" in!)
Lovediva
02-10-2003, 12:40 PM
Fortunately...they were in dire need of a body mud bath!! So they romped in the mud till they got crusty!!
IAKaraokeGirl
02-10-2003, 12:43 PM
Unfortunately, one of them (who didn't know previously) was allergic to mud, and started to have a reaction.
dicksbro
02-10-2003, 03:41 PM
Fortunately, while a hardon is a reaction, it's generally not life-threatening.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-10-2003, 04:10 PM
lol @dicksbro
Unfortunately, the reaction also caused swelling and hives upon the man's hard-on.
dicksbro
02-10-2003, 04:20 PM
Ouch.
Fortunately ... er .... fortunately? Okay, fortunately he was so excited the swelling and hives only added to his stimulation (boy is that tough to imagine :D ),
IAKaraokeGirl
02-10-2003, 04:34 PM
:D LMAO. I wondered how you were going to handle that one!
Unfortunately, he put more mud on his erection, thinking it would cool it down and help heal it.
kleclere
02-10-2003, 06:04 PM
Fortunately speaking of handling a beautiful lady grabbed it and stroked him removing the mud causing the swelling to decrease and used her tongue to easy the hives.
dicksbro
02-10-2003, 06:45 PM
Unfortunately, she had just eaten chunky peanut butter and the fragments from the peanuts scratched terribly.
denny
02-10-2003, 07:02 PM
Fortunately she noticed the problem and quickly licked off the nuts, not to mention the hard-on, resulting in pleasurable tremors.
kleclere
02-10-2003, 07:07 PM
Unfortunately the peanut butter got stuck to the roof of her mouth causing her to gag. Making the guy worried that he was going to deep. Causing him to shrink and blush.
dicksbro
02-10-2003, 07:11 PM
Fortunately, the blushing turned her on and when she caught her breath, she dove right back in causing him to become erect once more.
horseman12
02-11-2003, 09:54 AM
Unfortunately, his erection caused him great pain.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-11-2003, 10:23 AM
Fortunately, the woman saw he was in pain, and thought a different kind of "rubbing" might be in order.
horseman12
02-11-2003, 11:05 AM
Unfortunately, as she rubbed the pain only seemed to become worse.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-11-2003, 11:10 AM
Fortunately, the woman had a friend who came over to play tag-team, and she had another idea.
Messalina
02-11-2003, 12:36 PM
Unfortunately, she thought the swelling was due to a bee sting and began to swing a fly swatter in hopes of putting down the offending insect.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-11-2003, 12:37 PM
Fortunately, she only hit the man's erection once.
dicksbro
02-11-2003, 12:49 PM
Unfortunately, so much time passed by worrying about his erection and the swelling, that unknown to those around him, he ended up cumming anyway and was last seen walking towards his car.
gekkogecko
02-11-2003, 01:09 PM
Fortunately, by then her friend had arrived, and had also brought quite a variety of sex toys.
dicksbro
02-11-2003, 01:15 PM
Unfortunately, he forgot the batteries. ( At least that happens to us :( )
Fortunately, they were solar powered...
Lilith
02-11-2003, 03:39 PM
unfortunately it was overcast and raining :(
IAKaraokeGirl
02-11-2003, 04:30 PM
Fortunately, one of the local townsfolk had a UV lamp and brought it to the man.
Scarecrow
02-11-2003, 06:32 PM
Unfortunately there was no where to plug it in
kleclere
02-11-2003, 07:03 PM
Fortunately a portable generator was around the barn so the town people brought it so they could plug it in.
Lovediva
02-12-2003, 06:33 AM
Unfortunately....nobody brought petrol for the generator!
horseman12
02-12-2003, 07:26 AM
Fortunately, thier was a local sceintist who had invented a device that allowed pee to be used in the place of fossil fuel.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-12-2003, 07:46 AM
Unfortunately, no one had to go after peeing on the girl in the Amazon-type river earlier.
dicksbro
02-12-2003, 07:47 AM
Fortunately, there was a dog that thought the generator looked like a fire hydrant ... so it raised it's leg and let go. :)
IAKaraokeGirl
02-12-2003, 07:50 AM
Unfortunately, the generator didn't work with dog pee.
dicksbro
02-12-2003, 07:57 AM
Fortunately, a passer by had a generator dog pee adapter in his pocket (doesn't everyone?).
IAKaraokeGirl
02-12-2003, 08:25 AM
Unfortunately, the adaptor didn't fit this particular generator.
horseman12
02-12-2003, 09:54 AM
Fortunately, a young man who lived nearby young peter pecker, was a very good handyman and could make an adapter to fit.
cbass1976
02-12-2003, 10:39 AM
unfortunately peter was not at home as he went to see a prostitute
gekkogecko
02-12-2003, 11:40 AM
Fortunately, both Peter and the prostitute liked engaging in public sex, so they were right there when they finished.
horseman12
02-12-2003, 11:55 AM
Unfortunately, at the time of ejaculation, peter blowed his pecker off, causing so much discomfort he was unable to build an adapter.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-12-2003, 03:18 PM
Fortunately, right at that moment, a nurse practitioner ('cause all the doctors were gone) waltzed by the farm. She just happened to have an ample supply of Prozac AND enough bandages for Peter.
cbass1976
02-12-2003, 04:13 PM
Unfortunately, peters pecker head blew off so far it could not be found......so there for he was headless
IAKaraokeGirl
02-12-2003, 04:20 PM
Fortunately, the nurse practitioner gave Peter enough Prozac that he was off in La La Land and didn't even notice his pecker head was gone. The townspeople then took off to work in the traveling sex show.
Unfortunately, the generator was still not working.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-12-2003, 05:59 PM
Fortunately, most of them walked and/or jogged for exercise, and they didn't mind having to catch up with the show on foot.
Scarecrow
02-12-2003, 06:41 PM
Unfortunately this story has so many twist and turns the towns people got lost. hehehe
IAKaraokeGirl
02-12-2003, 06:46 PM
lol @Scarecrow
Fortunately, one of the townspeople was a Boy Scout, and he was always prepared--he had a GPS device in his pocket.
Scarecrow
02-12-2003, 06:51 PM
Unfortunately the satellite was down for repair
IAKaraokeGirl
02-12-2003, 06:53 PM
Fortunately, he also had his Boy Scout compass.
Scarecrow
02-12-2003, 07:00 PM
Unfortunatly, there was a large magnet nearby that interferred with the compass.
kleclere
02-12-2003, 07:29 PM
Fortunately there were trees around so he looked for the moss on the north side and was able to find his way.
cbass1976
02-12-2003, 11:00 PM
Unfortunately, he tripped on a rock and tood a terrible fall and broke his glasses and compass
gekkogecko
02-13-2003, 12:51 AM
Fortunately, he was aware that with a stick and fifteen mintues of time, anyone can find out which way is north. He used this information to make his way back to the orgy.
dicksbro
02-13-2003, 07:27 AM
Unfortunately, the trek back wore him out and he was unable to participate in the orgy.
horseman12
02-13-2003, 08:16 AM
Fortunately, thier was a beautiful maiden who was patient and understanding, and gave him oral until he was ready.
Lilith
02-13-2003, 09:22 AM
Unfortunately her her ogre of a husband stumbled upon her bestowing her oral gifts
cbass1976
02-13-2003, 09:41 AM
Fortunately he had just enough time to blow his load down her throat
Lilith
02-13-2003, 09:47 AM
unfortunately the maiden gagged and spewed spoo onto her dress
gekkogecko
02-13-2003, 09:51 AM
Unfortunately, ISP cut me off as I was about to post a reply, meaning Lilith got to jump in line in front of me.
Fortunately, that means I'm behind her, and can give her a hard smack on the ass.
Oh.
That has nothing to do with the story.
Fortunately, she didn't need the dress, as the boy removed it before returning the oral favor.
dicksbro
02-13-2003, 05:20 PM
Unfortunately, in returning the favor he discovered the difference between ass licker and brown noser ... depth perception.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-14-2003, 01:16 PM
Fortunately, at that moment, the earth started to shake.
Scarecrow
02-14-2003, 06:22 PM
Unfortunately, it was shaking because the Jolly Green Giant was coming down the road
dicksbro
02-14-2003, 08:20 PM
Fortunately, he was only bringing a warm dish of fresh corn for them to eat.
gekkogecko
02-15-2003, 02:41 PM
Unfortunately, it wasn't creamed corn, so they couldn't use it as a sex toy.
dicksbro
02-15-2003, 04:54 PM
Fortunately, just behind the Green Giant where he couldn't be seen was a traveling dildo salesman.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-15-2003, 10:30 PM
Unfortunately, they were Jolly Green Giant-sized dildos. :D
dicksbro
02-16-2003, 05:04 AM
Fortunately, they were like those Japanese dolls that stack one inside the other, so you could open the back of the big one and find a smaller one, and keep doing that until you reached the 8" size.
gekkogecko
02-16-2003, 12:40 PM
Unfortunately, the nesting dildoes were stuck together so firmly, the maiden couldn't get to the one she needed.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-16-2003, 01:03 PM
Fortunately, the travelling dildo salesman also had a Jolly Green Giant-sized tube of KY jelly, which the maiden used to make all the dildos slick...until she found the one she wanted.
kleclere
02-16-2003, 01:21 PM
Unfortunately the lube made it so slick that she put it into her pussy and it shot out kill the salesman and wounding the giant.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-16-2003, 03:22 PM
Fortunately, one of the people standing around was a mortician, and he went right to work.
kleclere
02-16-2003, 03:25 PM
Unfortunately the mortician hit some of the lube and fell face first into the lady's lubed crotch. Embedding him into her.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-16-2003, 06:14 PM
Fortunately, while he was embedded nose-first, he was a mouth breather.
gekkogecko
02-16-2003, 08:28 PM
Unfortunately, he inhaled the lube while trying to breathe.
dicksbro
02-17-2003, 06:19 PM
Fortunately, he had to sneeze.
horseman12
02-18-2003, 07:53 AM
Unfortunately when inhaling to sneeze he sucked up a big glob of lube.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-18-2003, 08:00 AM
Fortunately, he was his town's spit champion, and got rid of that lube quickly.
dicksbro
02-18-2003, 08:01 AM
Fortunately it was discharged when he did sneeze.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-18-2003, 01:10 PM
Unfortunately, a little girl saw the whole thing and went screaming to her mommy.
kleclere
02-18-2003, 05:52 PM
Fortunately mommy came to see about the trouble and gave the guy mouth to mouth while the lady with the lube rode to her heart's content.
dicksbro
02-19-2003, 06:49 AM
Unfortunately, "Joe Millionaire" was just coming on and so everything came to a halt and they didn't get to finish what they were doing.
horseman12
02-19-2003, 09:14 AM
Fortunately, everyone had listened to the radio dj's who told the ending and did'nt care to watch the show.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-19-2003, 09:16 AM
Unfortunately, the radio DJ had an interview planned with Joe Millionaire, and all the people really *were* interested in listening to it.
dicksbro
02-19-2003, 06:17 PM
Fortunately, a sudden power outage caused the radio statio to go off the air.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-19-2003, 06:26 PM
Unfortunately, a local farmer happened to have one of those hand-crank ones in his barn for such an emergency.
dicksbro
02-19-2003, 06:40 PM
Fortunately, he couldn't find the crank handle.
(Is someone putting all this together in a book form. We could make millions ... well ... 4 or 5 dollars anyway :D )
IAKaraokeGirl
02-19-2003, 08:20 PM
Unfortunately, the same person compiling all of these Fortunately~Unfortunately story snipets also had a transcript of the radio interview. :D
dicksbro
02-19-2003, 09:50 PM
Fortunately, the desire to preserve the story for posterity outweighed the desire to have the radio interview come out sounding sensible. :)
( Notice how we make all these subtle ??? changes in story direction. :D )
IAKaraokeGirl
02-19-2003, 10:04 PM
Unfortunately, someone stole the transcript from the author's hands. :D
horseman12
02-20-2003, 10:12 AM
Fortunately, the person who stole the transcript was a member of pixies, and brought it back to be published.
kleclere
02-20-2003, 07:46 PM
Unfortunately they registered as unregistered and no one read it.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-20-2003, 07:50 PM
Fortunately, Lilith, who is all-knowing, realized the problem and posted it appropriately.
Unfortunately the site went down.....
kleclere
02-20-2003, 08:02 PM
Fortunately for us Kim was right on it and had Pixies up and going so all us pervs here at Pixies could read to our hearts content.
dicksbro
02-21-2003, 06:28 AM
Unfortunately, a direct hit by a meteor took out the server.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-21-2003, 07:09 PM
Fortunately, after that happened, the people didn't care about the "Joe Millionaire" transcript *or* the "Fortunately~Unfortunately~ story that was supposed to be published by Pixie's.
dicksbro
02-21-2003, 07:43 PM
LMAO IAK.
Unfortuately, that means somebody needs to go back and figure out where we were at. :D :D
IAKaraokeGirl
02-21-2003, 07:45 PM
Fortunately, at that moment, the traveling sex show happened to stop back by the town on their way to Hell, Michigan, which at that moment, was frozen over. :D
dicksbro
02-23-2003, 07:46 AM
Unfortunately, nobody had the money for admission.
( So does that mean that Hell was frozen over? ;) )
kleclere
02-23-2003, 01:11 PM
Fortunately it was free admissions day at the sex show and heat heat produced warmed the area .
IAKaraokeGirl
02-23-2003, 03:24 PM
Unfortunately, the people involved forgot how cold it was outside because it was so warm inside, and when they walked out of the building naked, their nipples and other private parts froze.
kleclere
02-23-2003, 03:35 PM
Fortunately they turned around and went back inside and had all effected parts warmed with lips, hands,pussies and other parts.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-23-2003, 03:59 PM
Unfortunately, at that moment, the lights went out.
gekkogecko
02-23-2003, 04:24 PM
Fortunately, the people present took the opportunity to start a huge grope-fest, complete with gelatine.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-23-2003, 04:27 PM
Unfortunately, it was lime-flavored gelatine.
gekkogecko
02-23-2003, 04:33 PM
Fortunately, lime turned out to be the most popular flavor among those present.
IAKaraokeGirl
02-23-2003, 04:35 PM
Unfortunately, the water used to make it had been imported from Mexico, because it was cheaper than home-grown water.
kleclere
02-23-2003, 04:44 PM
Fortunately it had the little worm in the bottom and everyone got drunk and didn't care what flavor the gelatin was. As long as it was rubbed all over everyone.
dicksbro
02-24-2003, 07:22 AM
Unfortunately, when it was rubbed all over, many people got a very itchy rash.
gekkogecko
02-24-2003, 11:10 AM
Fortunately, the ingredients for the gelatine included both an anti-fungal and an antibiotic, so the rash and other side effects of the water were cured quickly.
Messalina
02-24-2003, 01:08 PM
Unfortunately, everyone looked like seasick smurfs now.
kleclere
02-24-2003, 06:42 PM
Fortunately the seasick smurf look was in so they all kissed and hugged till dark.
dicksbro
02-24-2003, 08:03 PM
Unforunately when dark got there some of the kisses got mis-directed and people were getting hurt kissing thorns on rose bushes.
kleclere
02-24-2003, 08:13 PM
Fortunately the laterns where lit and those injured were kissed back to health.
gekkogecko
02-25-2003, 11:33 AM
Unfortunately, the animated, sentient, rose bushes decided that they now wanted into the orgy, too.
kleclere
02-25-2003, 06:39 PM
Fortunately the orgy was going full throttle and no one noticed the rose bushes joining in.
cbass1976
02-26-2003, 11:18 PM
Unfortunately the rose bushes were shaved and that caused bleeding
horseman12
02-27-2003, 10:30 AM
Fortunately, the thorns were small and the ones who got into them were into pain anyway.
dicksbro
02-27-2003, 03:34 PM
Unfortunately, the roses themselves became crushed in the press of the crowd.
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